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  #1  
Old 12-21-2010, 08:07 AM
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Charnock Charnock is offline
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How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

1. Do what you feel is acceptable.

That's what everyone else does.

2. Always call yourself a conservative.

That's earns you street cred. Doesn't matter if you're a flamin' lib, just call yourself a conservative and everything will be okay.

3. Keep your mouth shut about your liberties.

Do what you do in secret. After all, it's not about truth, it's all about perception.

4. Say the word "Apostolic" fifty times a day. Integrate it into every conversation and sermon. For extra credit add the word "Identity." After all, "Apostolic Identity" is the new way of saying "holiness."

See, DKB learned that holiness has little to do with standards, so he created a made-up label to match all of the made-up extra-biblical standards.

So now Oneness people can accuse "compromisers by saying "He doesn't believe in Apostolic Identity," instead of saying "He doesn't believe in holiness."

That way we don't have to bring pesky things like the Bible into the conversation.
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  #2  
Old 12-21-2010, 08:12 AM
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scotty scotty is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Something weighing on your mind ?
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In fact I think that the insinuation of "hateful" Pentecostals is coming mostly from the fertile imaginations of bitter, backslidden ex Apostolics who are constantly trying to find a way to justify their actions. ~ strait shooter


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  #3  
Old 12-21-2010, 08:19 AM
DAII DAII is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charnock View Post
How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

1. Do what you feel is acceptable.

That's what everyone else does.

2. Always call yourself a conservative.

That's earns you street cred. Doesn't matter if you're a flamin' lib, just call yourself a conservative and everything will be okay.

3. Keep your mouth shut about your liberties.

Do what you do in secret. After all, it's not about truth, it's all about perception.

4. Say the word "Apostolic" fifty times a day. Integrate it into every conversation and sermon. For extra credit add the word "Identity." After all, "Apostolic Identity" is the new way of saying "holiness."

See, DKB learned that holiness has little to do with standards, so he created a made-up label to match all of the made-up extra-biblical standards.

So now Oneness people can accuse "compromisers by saying "He doesn't believe in Apostolic Identity," instead of saying "He doesn't believe in holiness."

That way we don't have to bring pesky things like the Bible into the conversation.
Post of the Week ...
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  #4  
Old 12-21-2010, 09:50 AM
TheIndependent TheIndependent is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Interesting post! On a more serious note, the "message" some apostolic preachers carry is nothing but generational talking points, ones that have been passed down from generation to generation, that have not been examined or questioned for validity. Now, let the mud start slinging...I can play too!
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  #5  
Old 12-21-2010, 10:34 AM
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Cindy Cindy is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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  #6  
Old 12-21-2010, 11:11 AM
aegsm76 aegsm76 is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Quote:
Originally Posted by DAII View Post
Post of the Weak ...
A little modified.
With apologies to Don Quixote.
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  #7  
Old 12-21-2010, 11:35 AM
Socialite Socialite is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Quote:
Originally Posted by aegsm76 View Post
A little modified.
With apologies to Don Quixote.
That's a little cheesy for the "world's most interesting man."
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  #8  
Old 12-21-2010, 11:49 AM
houston houston is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

I could be a successful apostolic minister if I wasn't so "real." The show ended looong ago. I walked off stage never to return again. (so dramatic)
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  #9  
Old 12-21-2010, 12:05 PM
TheIndependent TheIndependent is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Quote:
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I could be a successful apostolic minister if I wasn't so "real." The show ended looong ago. I walked off stage never to return again. (so dramatic)
"LIKE!"
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  #10  
Old 12-21-2010, 02:53 PM
aegsm76 aegsm76 is offline
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Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

Quote:
Originally Posted by Socialite View Post
That's a little cheesy for the "world's most interesting man."
Huh???
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