At the same time, there are more OP's that feel the need to ask their Pastor's permission to do many things.
My husband was actually encouraged to drop out of Community College when he was a young man, which he did. He spent 30 years doing hard labor at the local factory and he put up with a good bit of abuse. Don't get me wrong, it put food on the table and we lived tight, especially when this company had the tendency to send people home when they "forgot" to order the materials they needed, or some other such things happened that were beyond their control as it sometimes is in a factory.
However, had the Pastor counseled him to stay in school, change his major for a more viable career, he would have received more tithe money than he did when we payed tithes on a factory income.
I encouraged...no fought with one of my sons for him to continue on to higher education after high school so that he would not be stuck in a dead end job. He now values that he went through although he absolutely hated going to school.
My other son just graduated from the University with a BS degree in Biochemistry and is going on to professional school. Both my boys have gone to public school all their lives. I think how they live for God, but not always, depends on parental involvement. Many parents leave Bible teachings to the church, which in my opinion is a very bad idea. When my children came home telling me about something they have been taught at school or what some other child did or said to them, we counseled them accordingly. I've made a many trips to the school for their defense over unjust problems. It happens even in the church.
Both my husband and I believe that family comes first. That the father of the children has any say over any pastor, especially if what the Pastor says cannot be scripturally proven. And we have found in many cases, it is just a matter of being a control issue and not scripturally sound on the pastor's part.
So...each region is different. Each family needs to not delegate their responsibilities to any other man but to pray as a family for the things necessary to earn a living in this world.
Incidentally, after we left UPC, we had many criticisms from other members that we did not bring our children to UPC church. Some said that they were "worried" about our children. My husband asked those people who were worried, what about YOUR children? The answer was that no...they did not come to church like they should. Or others came to church, but they lived "like the world". Yet others kept the standards and came to church every time the doors opened but had babies out of wedlock.
Perhaps we as families would be better off if we just mind our own household and leave others alone except to pray for them.
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