Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

[Aquila]

After leaving the UPCI I began to fellowship house church Christians. Many have been seriously hurt by various institutional churches. I was a little amazed at how many house church Christians had some kind of experience with the UPCI.

I must say... I've grown more since being a part of house church fellowships. I wish the rank of file Apostolic Pentecostals would discover the power in these smaller independent bodies.

In house church we tend to be more intimate. We are encouraged to be "broken". We confess our sins, faults, and imperfections. I've seen men and women confess nearly any kind of sin one can name. I've seen marriages restored after adultry and unmarried couples drawn together and blessed with a deeper and more loving relationship leading to marriage. I've seen the sick seek and receive healing. I've seen lives changed as people realize that they are called to emulate Jesus, not some list of rules or codes of conduct. It's really far more than what I ever thought Christianity was about.

I have to confess. I've gone back and fellowshipped some of my old UPCI friends in the two churches I've attended in the past. It was really a let down. While the services had great music it felt a lot like a show. The preaching was rather dictatorial instead of participative. And after service I've fellowshipped my old friends and the talk normally surrounds various standards like those placed on television, pants, makeup, jewelry, beads, etc. They never talk about the real sin issues that they face. Nor do they talk about emulating Jesus as a standard of life, rather they emphasize their "Apostolic Identity" as the UPCI defines it. I was shocked because it was really dry, dead, and almost depressing. I got the impression that they had no idea with regards to what they were missing and that they thought they have the best thing going. It was really a let down. While I like to visit to talk to old friends... I don't think I could ever return to the UPCI in good conscience. Not unless they became more "real". It seems that all the standards becomes a cloak to hide discussing real sin. It's far easier to discuss what one thinks about wedding bands or pants on women than to get down into the nitty gritty of lust, fornication, adultery, pride, hatred, envy, and a lack of caring for the poor or those in need. Prayers seemed forced and full of vibrato and void of real substance. Theatrical moaning and crying without real tears was a biggie that bothered me. Frankly... it helped me to get beyond any thought of mourning my leaving the UPCI. Visting my friends in the churches I used to attend was an eye opener. I finally got to see what it looks like and feels like to be an outsider or visitor. I'm not surpised at all that so many visit but for one or two services. To see it and experience it again served as a very important part of my healing. When I returned to my house church I truly felt blessed and delivered from the darkness of the UPCI. Now I can truly say... I've found Jesus. And He is truly all I need. Better yet... He's all I want.