Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquila
I just want the racing thoughts to end. The fear to cease. I'm tired. I feel like a car with the alarm system going off all night. I'm so done reliving things I don't want to relive. I'm tired of the intrucive thoughts. Things that horrify me. I'm just wanting to wake up and feel my mind... still. At ease. And be able to know that for the rest of the day... I'll not be holding back this feeling, these thoughts, and smiling like I'm okay so that I don't make anyone uncomfortable.
I was talking to Chris. The kids will be with their biologicals for the 4th. Things whent really badly last 4th. Chris and I will be home. But she doesn't know, I'm already feeling the nerves. I'm already feeling that feeling in the pit of my stomach like I'm on a roller coaster. It's been with me all week. Richards didn't have to die. Everyone is going to be "Saluting the troops" and waving flags and cheering like the troops were sent away to summer camp or something. Where's Richards? Where am I? Better yet, where's Jesus? I know He's here. I know He was there. And I know that He can see me, why is this happening to me?
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I'm reading what you typed and I am stunned, alarmed and void of words because all I can offer you is what you say does not work.
And all I can do is caution you against what I feel is a path to destruction.
My heart is truly breaking for you, but I'm at a loss.
(If you have friends that are reading this on Facebook, they need to keep and eye on you and make sure you are ok.)
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