Quote:
Originally Posted by notofworks
Nomination #1...When I was in Bible School, a student preached in chapel about the five smooth stones that David gathered for his fight with Goliath and said they represented the letters, "J-E-S-U-S". The "J" stood for God's judgment, the "E" for God's everlasting arms (or something like that), and so on.
When he said what he was going to preach, Bro. Segraves laughed with his bog ole laugh, thinking the guy was joking. Unfortunately, he was serious.
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Sadly enough, I have heard this message preached in a Sunday service at a church that I used to attend.
It was the 5 stone, J-E-S-U-S theory. Thankfully, it didn't elaborate into the J = God's judgement and so on though.
I have heard wonderful sermons, but also many that could be contenders for your contest. Entire sermons based on using the wrong definition for a word (words that sound similar but are not), contorting of scriptures to prove a minimum 5% mandetory offering in addition to the tithe, a belief that actors are channeling spirits in order to play their roles in movies, etc.
Unfortunately, I have blocked them from my memory as a method of self preservation so I can't provide many details.
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