Why Such A Fuss Over Standards!!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Matthew 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh!"

I don't normally like to share too much regarding the church, but in this instance I will.

My children have been treated HORRIBLY by leadership. We didn't cut and run. You know why they were treated horribly? Because we refused to be "suck-ups" in the church. This particular leadership hated us for it. We refused to be liars. Who did they hate the most - me! Because I'm the women of the house and I'm the easier target.

I explained to my children the problem, explained to them what God wanted from us out of the Word and that was that - WE WILL SEE IT THROUGH!

We did see it through for our part. God moved those people. For NINE years we were blamed after we resigned our positions and THIS TIME, God told us to move away from there.

NINE years later, the tempest in the teapot came boiling out for all the church to see! We weren't there, fortunately, but you know what the people saw - how WE handled it while we were in attendance - that is more important than my personal, hurt feelings. My children saw my tears, my struggle and my submission to the will of God.

Sobriety is the important thing - the most important.

I was treated horribly by leadership. And I did see it through--for a little while. We didn't just "cut and run." We even gave a 30 day notice before leaving, since we were on staff, and I personally endured being yelled at from the pulpit, things like, "I don't care WHO your Mama and Daddy are--you're going to split the pit if you don't correct that rebellious attitude." A rebellious attitude which I didn't even HAVE, I might add.

Not once did I EVER speak to another person in that church about the issues we were facing, not even to my friends, except for one who was already attending another church. I did not ONCE talk back to or sass the pastor or his wife. I didn't even look at them funny. I didn't even say a word on our last night in service when the pastor's wife walked up to me, gave me a sickeningly sweet hug, and in a sudden show of solidarity, whispered in my ear that I should watch out--my husband might fall back into false doctrine. I remember being so numb, I couldn't have said anything, even if the words had appeared in my brain--which they didn't until much, much later.

And, like you, years later, I have been entirely vindicated--without my hand ever having to stir the pot. So, PO, I agree. I had to hold out and let God fight my battles. But that does not mean I am weak or wrong for not staying to endure actual harm at the hands of ignorant, spiritually weak, self-serving people. I DID find safe shelter, both in the form of a new church, AND in private with God. And I let Him sort out the rest.

Even now, over 10 years later, I rarely even speak the name of my pastor and his wife. If I do discuss things generically, like right now, I keep it anonymous, and I have no wish to slander the people personally responsible, even though I know enough to rip them to shreds among their peers and their community--and in some cases, even from a legal standpoint.

If God led you to stay, then you did the right thing. He did no such thing with us, and so we also are confident that we did the right thing. At the time, my only backbone was my husband, and I'm so glad he behaved like the godly leader he is and informed me of his decisions, rather than letting me sit and steep in a toxic tea of corruption while I tried to see through a cloud. It's quite possible that God knew I wouldn't be able to handle it, so he placed a man in my life who would lead me right out of the situation.

Regardless, the point is, the same God who is leading you is leading me, and has led me--and my family--for many years.

My father didn't "cut and run" whenever people treated THIS PK badly, either. But there were times when he should have placed the well being of his family above his secondary ministry to the congregation. And that's just plain and simple truth.