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Re: Worst Sermons In History
Quote:
Originally Posted by notofworks
Nomination #1...When I was in Bible School, a student preached in chapel about the five smooth stones that David gathered for his fight with Goliath and said they represented the letters, "J-E-S-U-S". The "J" stood for God's judgment, the "E" for God's everlasting arms (or something like that), and so on.
When he said what he was going to preach, Bro. Segraves laughed with his bog ole laugh, thinking the guy was joking. Unfortunately, he was serious.
Nomination #2.....An evangelist spoke about the process that Peter writes about, "add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance;" etc.
He then read the verse, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first" and used that to say the list in II Peter should actually be followed backwards.
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BUAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Nomination #2 should have been #1...no, really!! That's hilarious! 
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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