How feminine is too feminine?

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Sure. However, this thread addresses opinions and personal preferences that we are presumably too polite to discuss in most public venues. It isn't my job to make any effeminate man more masculine. I don't have that ability, anyway. That doesn't mean I'm going to be attracted to an effeminate man, simply because I have the knowledge that it isn't my place or within my reach to change them in any way. And we definitely teach our girls to look for "manly men" when looking for husband material. In today's culture, women are groomed to see passivity as being preferred in a man, but in reality that ends up being boring and unattractive. I'd rather tousle with a little too much testosterone than the other way around.

It IS important to note that a man being effeminate is a sin; it isn't homosexual behaviors alone that are wrong. Therefore, it's just as important for Christians to be aware of this as it is that they know to avoid adultery, lying or stealing. And the fact that it's classified with other optional behaviors tells me that effeminacy is just as much a choice as anything else. It can be learned, unlearned and chosen or not. (I Corinthians 6:9-10)

I looked up "effeminate" from I Corinthians.

Greek word - malakos, meaning: Of uncertain affinity; soft, that is, fine (clothing); figuratively a catamite: - effeminate, soft.

Interestingly enough, a "catamite" was a boy in ancient Greece who was "kept" by a pedophile.

Also interesting is the reference to "fine (clothing)."



This is a soapbox of mine, so I'll save it for another thread, but I do believe it's ideal for a woman to be the primary caretaker of her home and children--especially small children. That said, there's room for other arrangements as long as both husband and wife are in agreement.

You are just too feminine, Miss B!!! LOL

[berkeley]

I named my dog Malakos because of his soft coat.

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

My husband and I had an interesting conversation this morning. We were talking about guys our girls will potentially date. He was concerned about guys "trying stuff" when they're dating, and I told him that I'd rather have them date guys that were somewhat [sexually] aggressive than someone who is passive and never tries to cross boundaries. Of course, I know that a Christian young man should be trying to keep all that in check and should be a gentleman, but I think I can tell the difference between "not interested" and "trying not to."

In this culture of emasculated men, it's important to find men who are rough around the edges, IMO.

Mothers better teach their sons to treat females they are courting as sisters. tell him how would you like it if someone violated your sister. females have sex drives also, why put it all on the girl to keep it under control?

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

This is a soapbox of mine, so I'll save it for another thread, but I do believe it's ideal for a woman to be the primary caretaker of her home and children--especially small children. That said, there's room for other arrangements as long as both husband and wife are in agreement.

oh I agree, but, the world we are living in is not ideal. many, many men are out of work and can't support their wives at home. it's better for women to step up and help then for the man to be pushed to the point that he gives up and walks away and leaves a family stranded.

and while the family is doing all they can just to stay afloat, I would hope there would be no condemnation on the parents that they are not meeting expectations.

[Amanah]

recent studies have shown that the tides have turned and men are now under extreme pressure, moreso then women.

they are expected to be the tough macho bread winner along with doing their share at home, helping with the house and kids.

while at the same time women are working less hours outside of the home, while still expecting the man to take on more domestic chores.

so at one time, women were trying to do it all and failing miserably, now women are shifting back to staying at home and working less hours, while men are the ones trying to do it all.

there needs to be a compassionate balance, where both look at what they can best contribute and support each other the best they can.

I know one OP family where the women is a software eng and makes good money, the husband's job paid poo. they decided the best way was for her to work and him to stay home with their two small children. It was the best way for them to have the best possible life for their family.

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Amanah

recent studies have shown that the tides have turned and men are now under extreme pressure, moreso then women.

they are expected to be the tough macho bread winner along with doing their share at home, helping with the house and kids.

while at the same time women are working less hours outside of the home, while still expecting the man to take on more domestic chores.

so at one time, women were trying to do it all and failing miserably, now women are shifting back to staying at home and working less hours, while men are the ones trying to do it all.

there needs to be a compassionate balance, where both look at what they can best contribute and support each other the best they can.

I know one OP family where the women is a software eng and makes good money, the husband's job paid poo. they decided the best way was for her to work and him to stay home with their two small children. It was the best way for them to have the best possible life for their family.

One problemt is it can be hard for women to submit/obey their husbands when they are the bread winner. I know a church lady who thoiught because she made the dough she didn't have to submit. I'm sure it can work but think it would cause problems that have to be worked through.

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

One problemt is it can be hard for women to submit/obey their husbands when they are the bread winner. I know a church lady who thoiught because she made the dough she didn't have to submit. I'm sure it can work but think it would cause problems that have to be worked through.

we are told to submit one to another, but the wife should respect her husband and the husband should lay down his life for his wife as Christ did for the church.

I'm thinking both men and women are falling short there.

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Amanah

we are told to submit one to another, but the wife should respect her husband and the husband should lay down his life for his wife as Christ did for the church.

I'm thinking both men and women are falling short there.

Bible clearly teaches wives are to submit/obey, yes men are to love thier wives as Christ as loved the church.


Our failures don't t change scriptural standards of living.

BTW that submit to one another is taken out of context, it's refering to church body not marital relationship.

[Amanah]

my husband and I discuss issues and try to come up with a mutual agreement. Occasionally he overrides me and does what he thinks best. He is not heavy handed though, demanding I obey his every whim.

guess I'm lucky, I'm sure it would suck to be a wife of some.

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Amanah

my husband and I discuss issues and try to come up with a mutual agreement. Occasionally he overrides me and does what he thinks best. He is not heavy handed though, demanding I obey his every whim.

guess I'm lucky, I'm sure it would suck to be a wife of some.

A husband can't make a wife obedient, that is a heart issue that a man can't fix. Just as a women can't make a man love her as christ loves the church, heart issue again.


Sometimes couples can get it mixed up, bible doesn't tell men to make their wives obedient, but to love and cherish their wives. Doesn't indicate must wait til wife is submissive to do so. Men are trying to make their wives submissive when that's not their command, that's Gods area. Man can't fix rebellion in the heart of another person. Applies in reverse from wife to husband as well. She can't make him cherish her.

submit/obey are not bad evil words.