Would You Ever Challenge Your Pastor?

[Jay]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

As a former pastor, I would want someone to come to me if they disagreed. There are few things I hate worse, even now that I'm in the secular corporate world, than having to try and read someone's mind and figure out why they are upset.

I would appreciate a private meeting where this person laid out their reasons and we could discuss logically. At the end of the meeting, I may still maintain my position, but would completely understand if the other person decided he or she needed to move on. OR, I may see their point, realize I was in error and correct my own position.

Either way, relationship was built, and by demonstrating this type of behavior, I would make it easy for people to come to me in the future, not create the perception that I was unapproachable.

Being the son of a pastor, I can say what has frustrates the pastor and his wife more than almost anything else, are people who are unhappy, but act as if the pastor should know by osmosis what the problem is and fix it. And if the unhappy people are told to talk to the pastor, often they respod that it would not make a difference anyway. That is nothing more than a lying excuse to justify their pride and justify their hurt feelings. The fact is that most pastors are willing, able, and ready to hear what their saints are feeling and thinking.

Many times, people attempt to approach the pastor at the wrong time or in the wrong way (I have been guilty of this, and we both confessed it to each other and resolved the issue). Do not approach the pastor with it after he has just preached his guts out and is exhausted. Nor approach him if he has a lot going on at that point. The best thing to do is make an appointment to see him, and treat him the way you might if you were approaching your employer (I am talking about using a respectful tone, gestures, etc.). Be sensitive, you do not know what he might be dealing with. If he has reactions that are out of character for him, extend him grace and realize that he is under a great amount of pressure (he may be bivocational and be working shifts that do not allow him much rest, he must be prepared to preach every service, he is often doing much of the maintenance around the church, he has to deal with every member of the congregation, and maintain a relationship with his wife and family, and you never know what else may be happening behind the scenes).


To put it simply, be sweet to your pastor. He probably could use it.