Not out of town. Just observing posts.
I just realized last week that what all I have been trying to convey ... how I felt about my experiences in UPC...well...you
all have heard it all before. And what's more, you all probably have heard it many, many times. It's almost like the defacto definition of insanity...one keeps doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's always going to be a tug of war about both sides feeling they are correct and nobody will meet halfway because one side will see it as "compromising" and the other does not want to be subjected to abuse anymore at the hands of any church.
You see, when I have tried to convey how I felt to my sisters in the church, they all usually got huffy and walked away. I was always the one with the bad spirit. I was the one who would never be happy in any church and nothing would ever make me happy. They never addressed the problems in the church because to do so would amount to "touching the anointed". Or if one tried to tell another sister something and that sister got her feelings hurt instead of really listening to the other grievance, all the others started to take sides and one would be counted as a "discord sower".
It goes on and on.
You know what? They were right because each church I went to mirrored the one I left. Each church did not have any love in them. None wanted to sit down and listen to any grievances. They could not handle it. They would rather make themselves feel better by saying that I just "did not want to live for God". It was their lack of love and cold shouldering that cinched my decision to leave.
The Old Paths? Yes, I want to return to the old paths, but I am going to have to move to another region where nobody knows me. As I said in another thread, ministers talk about saints that leave their church and the saint has no opportunity to discuss their side of it. The pastor is always right, the saint who left is always in the wrong, the troublemaker, the one on the verge of backsliding. I don't expect anything less living in a region where many of the churches are run by a dynasty.
The Old Paths? Yes, I want to go to a place where old toothless women shout their love for the Lord and come and grab you and hug you and you feel real, genuine love. Where all the sisters give each other sisterly love and respect. I want my pastor to preach the word with love and quit trying to tell grown adults how to live, what to wear. He should have faith in the Holy Spirit to help the people with these matters. Quit trying to keep adults little babies in the Lord and help them to grow and bloom so that they can go out and minister to others without "permission". If I could find that in a tent meeting or a brush arbor, I would favor that over padded pews and comfort climate in a heartbeat.
Ya know, in all the years I've been in Pentecost, not one pastor graced my doorway to come and visit with me, pray for my family or call us out of love and concern. Not one. Not in the beginning when I first got the Holy Ghost and was in need of discipleship. And not in the end when I was going through some severe problems.
However, God knows my heart and He has been with me despite not going into a church building.
My husband still goes to area churches once in a while. He went to one particular church who had a well-known visiting preacher for revival. I will not mention his name on here. The minister preached about the church finding a way for all the people who left the "church" (meaning UPC) to come back. He preached that "We must get them back, they belong here".
My husband went up to him after service and told him that if he was willing to listen for a few minutes, he could tell him just what it was going to take to get the people to come back. The Minister did not have time, would not make time, and did not bother to get his name and number to talk to him later.
I want old time pentecost
probably more than any of you, because I am old enough to remember the times when churches fellowshipped each other and love permeated the auditorium, the prayer rooms and it was exciting to wonder what good service God had in store for us that night.
Threaded Mode
