Cohabitation prior marriage leads to more Divorce

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

In a perfect world no one would need or want to live together prior to marriage. In fact, the only reasons I can see are twofold. One so they can tell if they can get along well enough in a confined space and the other is to have sex without having to hide it anymore but without taking the step of marriage. (this is in the church mainly, not as a whole throughout the nation)

I didn't live with my wife prior to marriage either. I don't think one has to, but I have known some that it benefited them better in the long run because they realized they weren't right for each other. Living together before marriage after hearing all your life that you'll burn in hell if you have premarital sex and all that leaves a lasting mark on lives so it's not easy to just step out and move in with someone like that...I would imagine.

Problem I see with your post is that both reasons you give are negatives. Living in a confined space with someone you don't respect and care about enough to marry is problematic in it'self. I don't think anyone benefits by breaking God's laws in the long or short run.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

Problem I see with your post is that both reasons you give are negatives. Living in a confined space with someone you don't respect and care about enough to marry is problematic in it'self. I don't think anyone benefits by breaking God's laws in the long or short run.

God often uses the most imperfect situations. Yes, there are issues that will have to be delt with... but God already has a plan. For many, this is the case.

For example, King David committed outright adultery with Bathsheba. Then David had her husband killed so he could marry her and cover up the pregnancy. David reaped what he sowed, having many trials afterwards. However, Bathsheba went on to become the Queen Mother of Israel, and even saved the nation twice. Once with relation to a revolt under David, another with relation to ensuring that Solomon take the throne. Not to mention... David and Bathsheba are part of the line of the Messiah.

Nothing is perfect on earth. I didn't live with the woman I married prior to marriage. We were both in church and very involved. We were married 12 years. During year 11 she got a job at a major corporation in our erea, made some not so good friends, and guess what.... she drug our family through the pain of infidelity and loose living insantiy. I backslid and became so hurt and bitter. I played by the rules. I should have not have lost! But that's not true. There are no rules to ensure that you'll succeed or be happy.

I know a couple who are used quite a bit in house church ministry today. They lived together for several years before getting married and returning to full fellowship in the church. They both had suffered the pain of divorce. They had played by the rules the first time around and lost. Also, the church they started to attend at one point told them they couldn't remarry being divorcees. So their logic was, if we marry, we're in adultery. If we live together we're in fornication. Their love for one another was strong so they chose to continue living together for several years. They found a very kind and compassionate church that counseled them "as a family". They eventually married and have been actively serving in house church ministry now for nearly 8 years. They've had hurdles like every couple. They have things they've repented of and have confessed. They are very easy going and are open books who work great with encouraging unmarried couples coming to Christ to deepen their love for Christ and each other, which tends to encourage and bring the couple to marriage.

God always has a plan.

If anyone thinks they can avoid the pains and horrors of life by playing by a set of rules... you're only fooling yourself and one day... the house of cards will come crumbling down.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

Problem I see with your post is that both reasons you give are negatives. Living in a confined space with someone you don't respect and care about enough to marry is problematic in it'self. I don't think anyone benefits by breaking God's laws in the long or short run.

Well...I was referring to actually living in a confined space. I am very good friends that I know I could live with and then again I am very good friends with others that I know there is no way I could live with them. But, to be fair, I am not and never was romantically involved with these people. I have a really good female friend that I couldn't be less attracted to, my wife knows her well too, and if I had to I could live with her as a roommate and be totally fine. But I wouldn't do it if for no other reason that it wouldn't look "right."

I tend to agree with you about the "breaking God's law" thing, but I have known people that lived together before marriage ended up getting married and having a great relationship. This is probably the exception and not the rule.

[DaveC519]

Originally Posted by Aquila

God often uses the most imperfect situations. Yes, there are issues that will have to be delt with... but God already has a plan. For many, this is the case.

For example, King David committed outright adultery with Bathsheba. Then David had her husband killed so he could marry her and cover up the pregnancy. David reaped what he sowed, having many trials afterwards. However, Bathsheba went on to become the Queen Mother of Israel, and even saved the nation twice. Once with relation to a revolt under David, another with relation to ensuring that Solomon take the throne. Not to mention... David and Bathsheba are part of the line of the Messiah.

Nothing is perfect on earth. I didn't live with the woman I married prior to marriage. We were both in church and very involved. We were married 12 years. During year 11 she got a job at a major corporation in our erea, made some not so good friends, and guess what.... she drug our family through the pain of infidelity and loose living insantiy. I backslid and became so hurt and bitter. I played by the rules. I should have not have lost! But that's not true. There are no rules to ensure that you'll succeed or be happy.

I know a couple who are used quite a bit in house church ministry today. They lived together for several years before getting married and returning to full fellowship in the church. They both had suffered the pain of divorce. They had played by the rules the first time around and lost. Also, the church they started to attend at one point told them they couldn't remarry being divorcees. So their logic was, if we marry, we're in adultery. If we live together we're in fornication. Their love for one another was strong so they chose to continue living together for several years. They found a very kind and compassionate church that counseled them "as a family". They eventually married and have been actively serving in house church ministry now for nearly 8 years. They've had hurdles like every couple. They have things they've repented of and have confessed. They are very easy going and are open books who work great with encouraging unmarried couples coming to Christ to deepen their love for Christ and each other, which tends to encourage and bring the couple to marriage.

God always has a plan.

If anyone thinks they can avoid the pains and horrors of life by playing by a set of rules... you're only fooling yourself and one day... the house of cards will come crumbling down.

I'm sure you're not arguing for the "ends justify the means".