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06-18-2012, 01:16 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
As young people in the church we used to butcher songs (on purpose):
"Temptations, hidden snares, often take our underwear" (instead of take us unaware)
"Weeelllllllll, I wouldn't take nothin' for my jersey cow, gotta make it to the barn somehow."
We had LOTS. I could go on and on. But this about funny things that the preacher has said. hmmm..................
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Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of a battle ! ! ! !  |
06-18-2012, 02:30 PM
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Administrator
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margies3
As young people in the church we used to butcher songs (on purpose):
"Temptations, hidden snares, often take our underwear" (instead of take us unaware)
"Weeelllllllll, I wouldn't take nothin' for my jersey cow, gotta make it to the barn somehow."
We had LOTS. I could go on and on. But this about funny things that the preacher has said. hmmm..................
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Ohhhh....this post made me think of a funny one from my Bible College days but I can't post it because if there were any big fat girls in a blue tight sweater reading they might be offended. This had to do with changing the words to a chorus about not liking anything better than Gods children getting together.
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"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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06-18-2012, 02:38 PM
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Not riding the train
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margies3
As young people in the church we used to butcher songs (on purpose):
"Temptations, hidden snares, often take our underwear" (instead of take us unaware)
"Weeelllllllll, I wouldn't take nothin' for my jersey cow, gotta make it to the barn somehow."
We had LOTS. I could go on and on. But this about funny things that the preacher has said. hmmm..................
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My husband does that A LOT.
On the resurrection morning
When all the dead in Christ shall rise
I'll have a new body
Praise the Lord, I'll have a new life
EXCEPT this is his version:
On the resurrection morning
When all the dead in Christ shall rise
I'll have a new body
Praise the Lord, I'll have a new wife
AND
Glory jalapeno, I shall not be moved 
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06-18-2012, 03:51 PM
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Jesus' Name Pentecostal
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: near Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 17,805
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margies3
As young people in the church we used to butcher songs (on purpose):
"Temptations, hidden snares, often take our underwear" (instead of take us unaware)
"Weeelllllllll, I wouldn't take nothin' for my jersey cow, gotta make it to the barn somehow."
We had LOTS. I could go on and on. But this about funny things that the preacher has said. hmmm..................
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and then there was the Easter song about "Let us have a little chocolate Jesus" and the poor old bound up bear with bad eyes as in "the constipated cross-eyed bear"
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06-28-2012, 09:14 PM
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On the road less traveled
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: On a mountain... somewhere
Posts: 8,369
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
I remember a wonderful European man who was ministering at our church for a time who had a heavy German accent. One night, after he had preached his message, he went on to remind the congregation for an upcoming event where he said "Don't miss it, there will be food, fun, and fornication (he meant to say fortification) .... there was a dead awful silence in the building as he looked around in surprise, completely bewildered by the stunned looks on everyone's faces... it took him a few minutes to hear someone say fortification, not fornication... what a great laugh for all of us then as he realized his mistake, and what a way to invite everyone to the next fellowship. I don't think anyone in the building that night will ever forget it.... and we probably all made it to that event after that memorable invitation!!!! LOL!
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06-28-2012, 09:20 PM
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Jesus' Name Pentecostal
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: near Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 17,805
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Quote:
Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord
I remember a wonderful European man who was ministering at our church for a time who had a heavy German accent. One night, after he had preached his message, he went on to remind the congregation for an upcoming event where he said "Don't miss it, there will be food, fun, and fornication (he meant to say fortification) .... there was a dead awful silence in the building as he looked around in surprise, completely bewildered by the stunned looks on everyone's faces... it took him a few minutes to hear someone say fortification, not fornication... what a great laugh for all of us then as he realized his mistake, and what a way to invite everyone to the next fellowship. I don't think anyone in the building that night will ever forget it.... and we probably all made it to that event after that memorable invitation!!!! LOL!
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yeah but think of the disappointment for those who came for the fornication
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06-28-2012, 09:24 PM
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Jesus' Name Pentecostal
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: near Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 17,805
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
One time preaching I said, "we have this treasure in earthel vessens" instead of earthen vessels
Then there is the classic tale that supposedly happened in the Chapel at PBI (Pentecostal Bible Institute) in Tupelo.
The minister (I think a visiting Dist. Supt.) stepped to the pulpit and began to rummage and fumble around in his pockets and said, "Turn to the Book of Glasses while I search for my Peter."
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06-28-2012, 09:36 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Heard a preacher say he was going to preach out of Philippines. Everybody thought maybe he was talking about a missions trip until he started reading out of Philippians.
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06-28-2012, 11:33 PM
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On the road less traveled
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: On a mountain... somewhere
Posts: 8,369
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam
yeah but think of the disappointment for those who came for the fornication
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Well, it sure made for good entertainment... You can be sure this poor guy's ears were red the whole time!!! That was entertainment enough... LOL!
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06-29-2012, 06:30 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,485
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Re: Funny Things Preachers Have Said
Whoops, double post.
Last edited by Titus2woman; 06-29-2012 at 06:39 PM.
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