A Wrecked Church!

[HeavenBound]

Originally Posted by StillStanding

Oh yeah, I was told the daughter also had her new salary approved by the same bogus church vote! Why not milk it for all it's worth?

The daughter now is firmly in control of he church. The "new" pastor is her puppet! Her pitiful scorched earth scheme seems to have worked!

I believe that she thinks the sheep will return once things blow over. After all, they are lowly sheep that need a strong person like her to tell them what to do. She will be wrong! All she has accomplished is reducing the size of the church by 75%. Good luck with that fabulous salary with a church that runs 20 people! When will the epiphany come where she realizes she drove away the very people who were paying her salary?

I was told that former members will only consider returning if the daughter leaves! Unfortunately, that will never happen without a court order! Sad, sad day for the "wrecked church".

All things are possible through God, the battle may be over but if the members will think and listen instead of letting emotion rule, then the war is not lost. We still have options.

[HeavenBound]

Originally Posted by StillStanding

A quick word about the former pastor's two sons:

I have heard nothing but great things about these men of God! They have been extremely cordial and have empathized with the saint's struggle. They are two of the kindest men you'll find anywhere! It's too bad that they were powerless to do anything for the people of that church.

This is so true. Bro.D.J. and Bro.C.J. are both great men of God. They feel for us.

[StillStanding]

This is my last post on this subject. Some innocent people have found out about this thread, have connected the dots of where and who we are speaking about, and have been hurt! Nobody likes to have their dirty laundry exposed to " God-knows-who". To all the innocent I apologize! I was wrong to cause more hurt and pain to an already hurtful and painful situation. My wife is one of those who is embarrassed that I started this thread.

As previously stated, my motivation for this thread was to expose what I believe to be leadership abuse in a scheme to force-feed a pastor to this church that the members overwhelmingly disapproved of for one reason or another. I couldn't stay silent when good and godly saints were given certified letters that they were no longer members of a church that they have attended for 50+ years. Their sin? They had voted "no" on the ballot for the new pastor! The rest is now history.

For the record, I have never been a member of this church. It has been brought to my attention that some of what I have written is true, but some may be untrue. Either way, I will now just pray that all things work out for God's glory.

As I mentioned early in this thread, I have nothing to gain, but I could lose some precious friendships. I have simply been standing up and giving a voice to the disenfranchised and bullied. There is always collateral damage in conflicts, and I am deeply sorry for the innocent that have been embarrassed and hurt because of this thread.

[OHappyDay]

I would like to humbly apologize to the dear saints of G.R. and to the J family. They have gone through more than enough with the death of first the Bishop's wife and then the Bishop, but you cannot let evil men or women win. You must take a stand.

18) The newly elected pastor ("the boyfriend") and the daughter have both been divorced.
19) There have been allegations brought against the boyfriend by multiple women in the church (by multiple I mean more than 3) of improper conduct.
20) These allegations started prior to his nomination for pastor.
21) This caused many people to leave the church. There has been a domino affect ever since.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Ya, give it 25-30 years and then only if they were involved in this whole mess as a teen, and if the parents of the teen were telling him/her to bow to the will of the daughter because she was God's Anointed.

My kids don't go to church. One of them just started seeing a therapist for all this. These were formative years for my kids when all this happened. Then, we left the UPC and we all had to adjust to a completely new culture. Then, my husband got cancer. I would say the last three years have been peaceful. I think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. The therapist specializes in trauma.

We went to another church for four years after we left the UPC. We looked long and hard before picking this church. It was an evangelical church. We met with the pastor once and told him our story. He was kind to us that day, but seemed to shy away from us after that because of our background. This was a newer church and growing like mad. The pastor was and is very busy. My husband gathered all his courage and asked the pastor to sponsor him with global. Of course, global is a oneness org and the pastor is trinitarian. The pastor told him to get him the paperwork. My husband did. The pastor never filled it out or said another thing to my husband. After all we had been through, my husband just did not have the stomach to approach him again. He felt completely defeated and deflated. The pastor also told him he was going to have him speak about a missions trip. My husband was very excited. This was the first chance he had gotten since we left the UPC. Months went by and he wasn't asked. My husband was ready to throw in the towel but kept going to church because of me and the kids.

I talked to the youth minister about my son volunteering at the church. I felt he needed some involvement and mentorship especially after what we had been through. I talked to him through email and we got it all set up. My son was going to start after the youth minister got back from a vacation. My son was excited about this. I asked the youth minister if he wanted a reminder email from me when he got back from vacation. He said yes. I sent three. No response. When I told my son, he shrugged. He was so used to this kind of thing.

Easter Sunday morning a few years ago, I had been sick with anemia so we hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. I made an effort to be there that day. I was bending over to pick up a bulletin when WHACK! I saw stars. Literally. The guy in front of me, who was holding his daughter, fell backwards and hit me in the head with his chair with his weight and hers. My glasses flew. I almost blacked out. My husband picked up the glasses and was trying to give them to the guy. The usher ran up to the guy and asked him if he and his daughter were okay. I was so whacked that I couldn't even speak. No one asked me how I was at all. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. This was my life. A man with no hurt or harm but a slight startle gets asked if he is okay and I, who am almost passed out (and I had a painful lump for two weeks) gets left completely ignored. It wasn't the instance as much as it was I saw all the events of my life in churches at that moment.

I never went back.

[Rapture 1]

In reply to STILL STANDING: I'm sorry if some people have been hurt or offended by any of these comments, but I'm glad you started this!! The most INOCENT people in all of this is, are the saints who have been wronged at GR church! They appreciate someone caring enough for them to stand up and let people know. As I have said before, not ONE preacher would come there and take up for them, only the ones who would speak up for "your pastor", and everyone knows who they are. No one wanted to get involved! They were just "sorry". The inocent ones are like the lady in her 80's, talking to the other ladies in the back, the daughter, passes by and thinking she overhears her dad being mentioned yells at the lady and says loudly "shut your mouth", and telling the same lady that her parents used to talk about her (the older lady) and her late husband and blaming the lady for things. Needless to say the lady was HURT and INOCENT. That is just one incident! There are so many more. Yes, these are the most INOCENT!! The others will go on with their lives, going to the church of their choice, while these, esp older, will never get over this hurt. They will go on living for God, and forgiving, but will never forget, and will always have a great sadness for the place that they had such great memories over the years.
Well, is that wedding bells I hear?? Wait, someone just told me "the fat lady hasn't sung yet!!!

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

Yeah. There is a lot of controversy surrounding that one...but like you say, we'll just let that one slide on by.




So...are you saying that churches may have been tricked into designating and applying for a 501 c 3 tax exempt status, thus making them a corporation that has to abide by the rules set forth by the IRS?

Tell me that is not true!

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by ILG

My kids don't go to church. One of them just started seeing a therapist for all this. These were formative years for my kids when all this happened. Then, we left the UPC and we all had to adjust to a completely new culture. Then, my husband got cancer. I would say the last three years have been peaceful. I think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. The therapist specializes in trauma.

We went to another church for four years after we left the UPC. We looked long and hard before picking this church. It was an evangelical church. We met with the pastor once and told him our story. He was kind to us that day, but seemed to shy away from us after that because of our background. This was a newer church and growing like mad. The pastor was and is very busy. My husband gathered all his courage and asked the pastor to sponsor him with global. Of course, global is a oneness org and the pastor is trinitarian. The pastor told him to get him the paperwork. My husband did. The pastor never filled it out or said another thing to my husband. After all we had been through, my husband just did not have the stomach to approach him again. He felt completely defeated and deflated. The pastor also told him he was going to have him speak about a missions trip. My husband was very excited. This was the first chance he had gotten since we left the UPC. Months went by and he wasn't asked. My husband was ready to throw in the towel but kept going to church because of me and the kids.

I talked to the youth minister about my son volunteering at the church. I felt he needed some involvement and mentorship especially after what we had been through. I talked to him through email and we got it all set up. My son was going to start after the youth minister got back from a vacation. My son was excited about this. I asked the youth minister if he wanted a reminder email from me when he got back from vacation. He said yes. I sent three. No response. When I told my son, he shrugged. He was so used to this kind of thing.

Easter Sunday morning a few years ago, I had been sick with anemia so we hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. I made an effort to be there that day. I was bending over to pick up a bulletin when WHACK! I saw stars. Literally. The guy in front of me, who was holding his daughter, fell backwards and hit me in the head with his chair with his weight and hers. My glasses flew. I almost blacked out. My husband picked up the glasses and was trying to give them to the guy. The usher ran up to the guy and asked him if he and his daughter were okay. I was so whacked that I couldn't even speak. No one asked me how I was at all. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. This was my life. A man with no hurt or harm but a slight startle gets asked if he is okay and I, who am almost passed out (and I had a painful lump for two weeks) gets left completely ignored. It wasn't the instance as much as it was I saw all the events of my life in churches at that moment.

I never went back.

ILG, my heart breaks for you and your family!

I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly. I have been through my own experience that I just cannot write about, but while it was traumatic for me, it is nothing what your family has been through. Maybe someday though.

The way I see this, the next time you go to a church for worship, it would be wise not to tell anybody anything about what happened to your family. It is quite possible that the pastor saw trouble coming to his little business corporation and he was thinking in terms of money and prestige instead of Christ and His Kingdom.

The way I see it, people who have been abused by those in the system have their opportunity to teach and preach Christ from without the camp. Christ has removed those of us from that system so that He can truly be head of His Church. It takes much more discipline on our part to study the Word, pray and be sincere in our walk because we do not have the critical "eye" of others looking at how we dress or how long our hair is. We have the opportunity to have bible studies or just to talk about Jesus without having to ask permission from some man who gets himself set up as a pastor (king) over others. Jesus told us we are not to have other people 'lording' over us for their is only one Church and one head of that church.

If you are interested, PM me and I will tell you how the Lord revived my husband after we left the church system.

[HeavenBound]

Originally Posted by StillStanding

This is my last post on this subject. Some innocent people have found out about this thread, have connected the dots of where and who we are speaking about, and have been hurt! Nobody likes to have their dirty laundry exposed to " God-knows-who". To all the innocent I apologize! I was wrong to cause more hurt and pain to an already hurtful and painful situation. My wife is one of those who is embarrassed that I started this thread.

As previously stated, my motivation for this thread was to expose what I believe to be leadership abuse in a scheme to force-feed a pastor to this church that the members overwhelmingly disapproved of for one reason or another. I couldn't stay silent when good and godly saints were given certified letters that they were no longer members of a church that they have attended for 50+ years. Their sin? They had voted "no" on the ballot for the new pastor! The rest is now history.

For the record, I have never been a member of this church. It has been brought to my attention that some of what I have written is true, but some may be untrue. Either way, I will now just pray that all things work out for God's glory.

As I mentioned early in this thread, I have nothing to gain, but I could lose some precious friendships. I have simply been standing up and giving a voice to the disenfranchised and bullied. There is always collateral damage in conflicts, and I am deeply sorry for the innocent that have been embarrassed and hurt because of this thread.

Please do not be sorry you started this. Some good may come from it yet. I have been encouraged by some responses from this. I for one want to Thank You for bringing this out into the open. Abuse should never be swept under the rug. Also, I want to say that the innocent have no reason to be embarrassed and should be thankful there are people who care about their plight. God Bless everyone for their input and taking the time to voice their concern. I, myself was to the point where I was thinking Satan you've won, but encouragement has been given and I have been refortified.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

ILG, my heart breaks for you and your family!

I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly. I have been through my own experience that I just cannot write about, but while it was traumatic for me, it is nothing what your family has been through. Maybe someday though.

The way I see this, the next time you go to a church for worship, it would be wise not to tell anybody anything about what happened to your family. It is quite possible that the pastor saw trouble coming to his little business corporation and he was thinking in terms of money and prestige instead of Christ and His Kingdom.

The way I see it, people who have been abused by those in the system have their opportunity to teach and preach Christ from without the camp. Christ has removed those of us from that system so that He can truly be head of His Church. It takes much more discipline on our part to study the Word, pray and be sincere in our walk because we do not have the critical "eye" of others looking at how we dress or how long our hair is. We have the opportunity to have bible studies or just to talk about Jesus without having to ask permission from some man who gets himself set up as a pastor (king) over others. Jesus told us we are not to have other people 'lording' over us for their is only one Church and one head of that church.

If you are interested, PM me and I will tell you how the Lord revived my husband after we left the church system.

Hey AYR,

Last time I went to church (a couple weeks ago) it was to the Catholic church with my Mom. I have panic attacks even listening to pentecostal worship or anything similar. One of my kids (non-gender specific) went to a UPC church a few times a while back this COM (Child of Mine) told them who this COM was and the pastor and his wife whisked this COM off to dinner. This COM was labeled as "hurting". I encouraged this COM to do whatever it takes to heal, if that means go to a UPC to visit or to a therapist. Whatever. I would not want this COM to become part of a UPC but I find that highly unlikely.

I don't really want sympathy as much as I just want people to listen and not beat me when I tell my story.

You are welcome to PM me and tell me your story. I will read it. I think it will probably roll off like water on a rock, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I appreciate the interaction.