A Wrecked Church!

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by ILG

My kids don't go to church. One of them just started seeing a therapist for all this. These were formative years for my kids when all this happened. Then, we left the UPC and we all had to adjust to a completely new culture. Then, my husband got cancer. I would say the last three years have been peaceful. I think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. The therapist specializes in trauma.

We went to another church for four years after we left the UPC. We looked long and hard before picking this church. It was an evangelical church. We met with the pastor once and told him our story. He was kind to us that day, but seemed to shy away from us after that because of our background. This was a newer church and growing like mad. The pastor was and is very busy. My husband gathered all his courage and asked the pastor to sponsor him with global. Of course, global is a oneness org and the pastor is trinitarian. The pastor told him to get him the paperwork. My husband did. The pastor never filled it out or said another thing to my husband. After all we had been through, my husband just did not have the stomach to approach him again. He felt completely defeated and deflated. The pastor also told him he was going to have him speak about a missions trip. My husband was very excited. This was the first chance he had gotten since we left the UPC. Months went by and he wasn't asked. My husband was ready to throw in the towel but kept going to church because of me and the kids.

I talked to the youth minister about my son volunteering at the church. I felt he needed some involvement and mentorship especially after what we had been through. I talked to him through email and we got it all set up. My son was going to start after the youth minister got back from a vacation. My son was excited about this. I asked the youth minister if he wanted a reminder email from me when he got back from vacation. He said yes. I sent three. No response. When I told my son, he shrugged. He was so used to this kind of thing.

Easter Sunday morning a few years ago, I had been sick with anemia so we hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. I made an effort to be there that day. I was bending over to pick up a bulletin when WHACK! I saw stars. Literally. The guy in front of me, who was holding his daughter, fell backwards and hit me in the head with his chair with his weight and hers. My glasses flew. I almost blacked out. My husband picked up the glasses and was trying to give them to the guy. The usher ran up to the guy and asked him if he and his daughter were okay. I was so whacked that I couldn't even speak. No one asked me how I was at all. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. This was my life. A man with no hurt or harm but a slight startle gets asked if he is okay and I, who am almost passed out (and I had a painful lump for two weeks) gets left completely ignored. It wasn't the instance as much as it was I saw all the events of my life in churches at that moment.

I never went back.

ILG, my heart breaks for you and your family!

I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly. I have been through my own experience that I just cannot write about, but while it was traumatic for me, it is nothing what your family has been through. Maybe someday though.

The way I see this, the next time you go to a church for worship, it would be wise not to tell anybody anything about what happened to your family. It is quite possible that the pastor saw trouble coming to his little business corporation and he was thinking in terms of money and prestige instead of Christ and His Kingdom.

The way I see it, people who have been abused by those in the system have their opportunity to teach and preach Christ from without the camp. Christ has removed those of us from that system so that He can truly be head of His Church. It takes much more discipline on our part to study the Word, pray and be sincere in our walk because we do not have the critical "eye" of others looking at how we dress or how long our hair is. We have the opportunity to have bible studies or just to talk about Jesus without having to ask permission from some man who gets himself set up as a pastor (king) over others. Jesus told us we are not to have other people 'lording' over us for their is only one Church and one head of that church.

If you are interested, PM me and I will tell you how the Lord revived my husband after we left the church system.