Not sure where to go from this point...

[Evenuntodeath]

Evang. Benincasa:

Yes, a part of me feels as if I am being told rather than taught on certain issues. Which is why I brought up the cosmetics, tv. and movies. But another gripe of mine is there seems certain standards which we "just don't do" rather than give biblical reference as to why we shouldn't do them. That is my main issue.

For example cosmetics. In my church not once has anyone sited biblical basis for why women should not use makeup. All the biblical references that would imply makeup is not a good idea I learned from the internet. In my church, its more along the lines of "you just don't need them". The reason the first lady sited was, "makeup makes you look old" I mean really?! Surely they can come up with better reasons than this.

Now the movie theater. It was not my pastor who said this, it was a minister/bible study teacher. However, I know that anything taught by the ministers has to be ok'd by the pastor first. In the bible study, I did ask him why going to the movie theater was not ok. He gave me his reasons, one of them being "appearance and credibility". In other words, it just doesn't look good for a christian to be seen at the movies. After that, I closed my mouth and let him continue with the bible study. The bible says women are to listen quietly, right? At the time, I didn't want to get into a drawn out debate over scripture and disrupt the bible study, for one, its very unladylike and unchristian. But privately I must say I have an issue with that line of reasoning. The biblical scriptures I've read say things should be done from the heart and not for the purpose of appearing holy or righteous.

In their defense, let me just say this. Both my pastor and his wife were raised in UPC. My pastor is a 3rd generation and his wife is 2nd. Sometimes I get the feeling some of these standards taught have less to do with scripture and more to do with how they were taught by their parents, pastor as well as following the guidelines of UPCI. Sometimes we do things out of habit and routine without any good reason as to why we do them(which is why I'm seeing that these standards may be a little easier for pentes who were raised in church, rather than those who came from a different or non religious background).

Right, ok, I can sympathize with that. But do they realize that someone like myself who was not raised in church needs a little more than "that's just the way it is"??

Now, do I have an issue with all the standards of UPC? No. I dress modestly, and I was never much a jewelry wearer even before I was saved so that is not a personal issue for me. I try not to cut my hair(still working on that), and I try to embrace the place God has ordained for women in the church.

But there comes a point where I question whether we are really doing all this to be holy or simply trying to earn salvation. A part of me feels like " what more do you want from me"?