Lust?

[Aquila]

I couldn't marry a woman I couldn't fantasize about. lol

Most married folks would admit, they fantasized about their spouse before they were married. Most just couldn't wait for their honeymoon. Even in the Song of Solomon the lovers are fantasizing like crazy up until the wedding.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I'm extremely surprised that this thread doesn't have a few dozen replies already!

Well, there was this one time.....

[Pendragon]

Yes, we should be able to share these things. 'Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another...'

I'm not sure I buy the fantasy vs lust thing either, because pornography falls into that fantasy category, and therefore would be considered acceptable behavior. I think even many non-Christians would agree that pornography is damaging.

Better, I think, is to acknowledge that a lust problem is a symptom of a disconnect between your spirit and God's. Walk humbly with God, feeding the spiritual man and denying the flesh, and you will notice your lust problem fade away. Sexual desire will always be there, but it doesn't have to be a raging lion or a ring in the bull's snout. For men, uncontrolled anger or lust are indicators that our relationship with God needs tending to.

Galations 5:13-25
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Lust is a small thing to conquer, in comparison to the other matters of the heart. A child of God is not bound by addictions, and the chains of addiction are easily broken (of course, many go back to old habits or pick up old chains, which is another matter). What is a more tedious process is taking out the deep-seated problems of the heart and replacing them with the fruit of the Spirit. Or maybe you don't think you have many deep-seated problems, but does your heart overflow with the fruit of the Spirit? If not, why not? Look at your own heart and ask yourself if you have love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, and so on. In your quest to find what is lacking you will begin to walk in the Spirit and old temptations and desires will become nothing.

Walking in the Spirit is not easy, of course. The 'straight and narrow' path wouldn't be straight and narrow and many would find it, if it were as easy as checking off a list of rules or a string of beads. Walking in the Spirit is possible if you are in regular communication with God, if you pass up things the world finds acceptable (R-rated movies with 'triggers', for instance), and if you pay close attention to the condition of your heart more than you worry about fulfilling a list of standards. Once you find yourself in deep conversation with God about why you seem to lack love for your neighbor, rather than the length of your skirt or sleeves, or the repetition of a certain catechism, you're probably on the right track.

One thing to remember: no man is perfect, and every man is susceptible to a moral failing, at all levels of the kingdom of God. Always be humble and pray that God will give you grace to escape in a time of temptation, pity brothers who have succumbed, and encourage them to get back up.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Aquila

The key is... do you really want to have her... or is it merely a fantasy?

Lust? I don't know. That's the point. It depends on how one defines lust. If "lust" is attraction and interest... then yes... anytime you have a sexual thought or image about an attractive person you'd be sexually interested in is lust. However, if lust equates to inordinate "desire"... most don't actually "desire" their fantasies to come true. So... according to the authors of the book I read... fantasies aren't "lust".

Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome.

Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body.

Try again.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Well, there was this one time.....

Hold on, let me start the tape recorder......ok, continue, please!

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome.

Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body.

Try again.

But, couldn't one lust for one's legal partner?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Hold on, let me start the tape recorder......ok, continue, please!

Oh, snap!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Pendragon

Better, I think, is to acknowledge that a lust problem is a symptom of a disconnect between your spirit and God's.

Good post and I totally agree, but especially wanted to point out what you wrote in the quotes. I believe not finding someone you totally trust and knowing, yourself, that it is your problem, having a disconnect between your spirit and God's is why some people keep these things to themselves.

I remember Kirk Franklin sharing his testimony about his addiction to porn and how he loved his wife and trusted that she would stand by his side and help him overcome that addiction. I think that is a wonderful thing to have someone who you can bear your shortcomings and failings with and to know they will be there through thick or thin. I am hoping with the entertainment industry he is involved in, he can stay clean.

[Truthseeker]

We all need someone to confide in.