Modesty Myth

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Kind of like a church leader doing a double take at a young girl walking out of Wal Mart in short shorts. And being kind of flirty with the young women in the church. And thinking nobody noticed. He was just considered "friendly" by some.

I think your first and second examples are not the same. I think, by nature, a man is going to look (not always necessarily staring), but your second example has him "reacting" to his internal mechanisms.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I think your first and second examples are not the same. I think, by nature, a man is going to look (not always necessarily staring), but your second example has him "reacting" to his internal mechanisms.

Yes, but the same guy.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Yes, but the same guy.

Then that is the guy that Bratti is talking about - acting out his internalizing.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Kind of like a church leader doing a double take at a young girl walking out of Wal Mart in short shorts. And being kind of flirty with the young women in the church. And thinking nobody noticed. He was just considered "friendly" by some.

Yes.

I recall being at a church picnic about 4 years ago. A young woman was there who was wearing a very form-fitting shirt and a mid-thigh skirt. She turned around and bent over to pick up her daughter--obviously giving people a great view. I was so disgusted, though, because this man that attended our church gave her the slowwwww up and down and then gave her the up and down again. I mean, it was so obviously licentious my stomach turned. He didn't blink or turn away--he just reallllly enjoyed the view. I felt very bad for his wife who was sitting right next to him. I don't know how she could have missed that.

Yet, he would be the first one to complain if a woman wore a split skirt--even if the skirt was long. He commented to my husband one afternoon, "Why would a woman wear a split skirt unless she wants a man to look?" Now, the answer to that question is debatable, but IMO that is a perfect example of a man giving himself permission to act badly because the woman is "asking for it" in his estimation.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Yes.

I recall being at a church picnic about 4 years ago. A young woman was there who was wearing a very form-fitting shirt and a mid-thigh skirt. She turned around and bent over to pick up her daughter--obviously giving people a great view. I was so disgusted, though, because this man that attended our church gave her the slowwwww up and down and then gave her the up and down again. I mean, it was so obviously licentious my stomach turned. He didn't blink or turn away--he just reallllly enjoyed the view. I felt very bad for his wife who was sitting right next to him. I don't know how she could have missed that.

Yet, he would be the first one to complain if a woman wore a split skirt--even if the skirt was long. He commented to my husband one afternoon, "Why would a woman wear a split skirt unless she wants a man to look?" Now, the answer to that question is debatable, but IMO that is a perfect example of a man giving himself permission to act badly because the woman is "asking for it" in his estimation.

As Jerry Seinfeld once corrected George when he told him, "You don't stare! You never stare! You just get a sense of it, then look away!"

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Yes.

I recall being at a church picnic about 4 years ago. A young woman was there who was wearing a very form-fitting shirt and a mid-thigh skirt. She turned around and bent over to pick up her daughter--obviously giving people a great view. I was so disgusted, though, because this man that attended our church gave her the slowwwww up and down and then gave her the up and down again. I mean, it was so obviously licentious my stomach turned. He didn't blink or turn away--he just reallllly enjoyed the view. I felt very bad for his wife who was sitting right next to him. I don't know how she could have missed that.

Yet, he would be the first one to complain if a woman wore a split skirt--even if the skirt was long. He commented to my husband one afternoon, "Why would a woman wear a split skirt unless she wants a man to look?" Now, the answer to that question is debatable, but IMO that is a perfect example of a man giving himself permission to act badly because the woman is "asking for it" in his estimation.

Ick and I am picturing him as being over weight and balding.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

As Jerry Seinfeld once corrected George when he told him, "You don't stare! You never stare! You just get a sense of it, then look away!"

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Then that is guy that Bratti is talking about - acting out his internalizing.

Yes, and I'm not wanting to condemn men for having natural responses to women. I know my husband is going to notice beautiful women, and it doesn't bother me. For the sake of discussion, I'm not talking about simply noticing that a woman is attractive. I would even mark a distinction between appreciating that beauty...momentarily...and staring rudely.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Ick and I am picturing him as being over weight and balding.

Certainly nothing to look at , but the way some people act gives you the icky feeling from the get-go. Some men just go around leering at anything female. It's gross and annoying.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

As Jerry Seinfeld once corrected George when he told him, "You don't stare! You never stare! You just get a sense of it, then look away!"

HAHAHAHA!!!! That is GREAT!