Quote:
Originally Posted by MissBrattified
It could just as easily be her peers at school or other people in the community. It's important to factor in where she lives as well. There are certain areas of the country and certain neighborhoods where race is a big, divisive issue. Even if parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, etc., all send out a very accepting message, that can be undermined quickly and easily--especially with impressionable, sensitive children. Further, teenagers can look in the mirror and come up with all sorts of reasons to dislike themselves, without ever having a single adult in their life draw that to their attention. There are certainly self-esteem issues that originate within the individual and have nothing at all to do with their environment. Some people are naturally more negative and insecure.
I realize you explained yourself pretty well in the rest of your post, but just to answer this question: The direct implication of your post was that PO's niece lacks confidence because the adults in her life make her mixed race an issue. The comparison to your own granddaughter being very confident further emphasizes that point. E.g., "if you guys were doing your job right, she'd be perfectly confident and would 'love herself plenty.'"
You also compared having an identity crisis over a zit to having a crisis over being mixed race. The two aren't comparable, because having an identity crisis over something that is truly part of your identity is different from having a panic attack over a zit. The latter is temporary and not at all part of a child's identity. It's a problem that needs immediate repair and is normally addressed as a physical flaw.
|
Good points, especially about peers,which can be of paramount importance to pre-teen/teens and even beyond. Please note I NEVER said adults in her FAMILY. Not my intention to compare POs neice to my grandaughter except to say that bi-racial kids can be well adjusted and even excel so the idea that maybe they should not ever be made is just not gonna fly in my world.
The zit comment was strictly intended to emphasize that kids can be sooo dramatic... The whole holding her hand up to her face as if to split herself in half just smacks of teen drama... Maybe I was a little hard on my kids but it made me want to go... "Aww boo-freakin'-hoo, get over it. There are kids without legs that aren't that whiney". Of course my kids did not have some undiagnosed underlying depression or something else either so I thought maybe the suggestion for counseling was a better idea.
Honestly, I just don't get it... we really are a single race... To deny it is to deny science. We don't make sterile hybrids when we 'cross breed' like a donkey and a horse... We make other fully functioning, reproducing humans.
I am sometimes uncomfortable with other cultures, as in I feel like an outsider... Unknown languages, unfamiliar foods, different customs... But concerned about blending skin tones... nawww... And the facts, if anyone wanted to point them out, is that PO's neice is not half dark and half light... I'm sure she is some creamy shade of caramel, which is usually much more attractive than that nasty pasty color with all the green veins.... just sayin'.
Threaded Mode
