Why men hate church

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Wife: You mean this is YOUR home!

Husband: No, it’s OUR home. But I don’t think this is a good idea. It’s not a good idea because we don’t know if she’s really clean. She stole things from her mom and dad’s when she stayed there and they don’t’ want her to come back. We are nearly broke financially and the light is at the end of the tunnel if we don’t take on any extra burdens….

Wife: So a friend in need is a BURDEN to you???


Husband: No, that’s not what I’m saying. We stand a chance at getting on our feet financially and…

Wife: Oh… so it’s all about MONEY to you???

Husband:No.

Wife: That’s what you keep saying!

Husband: That’s not what I mean… I’m saying that we can’t…

Wife: Why can’t you be more positive???!

Husband: Honey… we really shouldn’t do this.

Wife: She’s my friend, this is my house too and we’re going to help her!

Husband: Really??? I’m the husband of this home, the father of this house. This is a terrible idea and I say absolutely NOT. You won’t hear me out on why and so I have to simply tell you NO.

Wife: Tell me NO??? What right have you to tell me NO???

Husband: I’m the man of this home. It’s my job to protect and provide for this home. You aren’t taking any concerns that the home might face seriously…

Wife: Oh… so now I DON’T love our family!!!???

Husband: That’s not what I’m saying…

Wife: She’s coming here and we’re going to help her.

Husband: Absolutely NOT.

Wife: You don’t have the right to say NO!

Husband: What is it with you??? Can’t you see I’m trying to do my friggin’ job as a husband!!!

Wife: No you’re NOT. You’re being an #%$@#$#!!!

[/QUOTE]

At this point the man should calmly say 'She is not staying here and if she shows up I will have her arrested for trespassing. If you don't like call your momma and pack your things. The kids are staying here. Once you've had time to consider the direction you're headed in, we can talk about it.'

And then go about his business. If she absolutely REFUSES to submit to his authority - assuming they are both Christians and he has already explained the BIBLE authority for him to make the decision he has made - then she needs to leave.

And he would need to make that absolutely clear.

An no, she doesn't get to run off with the kids and the checkbook, either.

Which reminds me, the fact she is working outside the home while they have two children is a big red flag to begin with, and probably is a major contributor to the fight. Meaning, this family is not operating Biblically with either person in their proper role.

It looks to me like this is a typical American family - both man and wife work outside the home, she has her career, he has his, the government schools or some private school or some nursery business (day care) raises the kids during the day, they probably do not have 'family worship' on a regular basis which would include Dad teaching his family the Scriptures book by book and chapter by chapter and verse by verse... in short, the family had some serious issues long before the 'friend in need' came on the scene, issues not readily apparent, but waiting to froth to the surface as soon as testing time arrived...

As a solution, the husband would need to firmly let the woman know he is not going to open his home to anyone until the home is operating according to Biblical order, period, full stop. That would be the first priority.

If she refused, then he would need to start following biblical guidelines for church discipline.

If she still refused, she would need to be 'excommunicated' from the church, from the Lord's Table, from fellowship with any and all members of the church (including her husband) until she either repented or abandoned him.

We are not our own, we who have named Christ as Lord have given up our will and ways of doing things, and have pledged to obey him. And we will prove the honesty of our word, one way or the other, sooner or later.