Two Salvational Experiences

[obriencp]

Hello all and this is my first post after reading many many threads for a few months now.

I love the original post by Kept. I too, have been struggling with what is truth since leaving a OP church where I was raised. I don't want to get into scriptural debate as much of what i've come to believe isn't exactly popular on this forum. However, i do want to share in the "two salvational experiences" i've had.
1. Being raised in a OP church that started out UPC and later transitioned into a PAW church, I was baptized in Jesus' Name when I was 9. I later received the gift of the Holy Ghost and spoke in tongues at a camp meeting. To this day, I still speak in tongues and cannot deny that experience (whether power to do more or as the external sign, i'll let y'all judge me). I knew that I was saved because I followed the core verses and was faithful in service and in giving. However, there came a time when I began to look around at how the church was failing and how judgemental we (I) had become towards everyone who wasn't a "3-stepper" (a new term i've picked up on AFF). Through much prayer, fasting, and study, i made the difficult choice to leave a church where I was the asst. Pastor and music minister. Doctrine WAS NOT an issue when I left. Although, looking back, i can see how the Lord was leading me into something more.

2. My second experience is when I began openening up to those i'd previously shunned out of fear. I began focusing more on what Jesus/God accomplished on the cross and less on what I did to recieve salvation. At some point, I realized the love he had for me and really and fully understood what was done. I had come to fully understand Grace and Mercy in a way I NEVER understood before.

I said all that to say this. I trusted too much in what I could do when I was OP (works based, legalist, whatever). I don't remember ever hearing much talk of mercy and grace, and was certainly never taught about Justification by faith. Ironically enough, I had a revelation of justification by faith a few months before I left and taught a bible study on it. I feel that even though some will say I was saved earlier in life, i also feel that i was re-reborn once i understood the finished work of the cross and his love for us.

There is nothing i can do to earn it, otherwise it's not, by definition, Grace. Thanks for the message, KeptByTheWord.