A pastor once told me that these were Paul's "recommendations" and that they are not to be treated as dogma. For example we read,
2A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,
Clearly Paul felt it best that an elder should be married. However, we know that Paul wasn't married and that Paul was also an elder.
1 Peter 5:1 (KJV)
"The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed:"
So, I was taught that while these are strong admonitions regarding eldership and the deaconate, they are only guidelines, not "requirements". Ultimately God calls the individual and confirms that calling through the Spirit.
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