What Would You Do???

[The Mrs]

Originally Posted by Ferd

and once again, YOU do nothing but support your wife.

Good advice.

I can't see how anything he would do to 'step in' would help the situation in any way. Seems like it would only exacerbate it worse, and may even just make her appear to be weak.

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by The Mrs

Good advice.

I can't see how anything he would do to 'step in' would help the situation in any way. Seems like it would only exacerbate it worse, and may even just make her appear to be weak.

My thoughts exactly! Good advice Ferd.

[The Mrs]

My other :

My thoughts were geared mostly toward her work place. I can't see him being able to step in in her work place. What authority or right would he have there? I would think he would have none. If I were him, I would encourage HER to take action in her work place if needed, and support her in it...

And if it ever comes to them needing to take action outside of the work place, like to file a harassment suit, then by all means, he should be the one to take the lead and take action.

But I agree with others...if she's strong, she can handle it. They will back down eventually.

Tell her to SMILE big, with a cheerful countenance, when she says she LOVES living her life that way. I doubt they will bug her much after that.

[KwaiQ]

Originally Posted by bdlooney

My wife is currently in an accelerated LVN Nursing program that requires her to attend clinicals a few days a week. Her mother made her a few scrub skirts to bypass the whole pants thing.

Today, while in clinicals at a local hospital, she encountered a nurse that once lived (how do I say this?) a "traditional" Holiness Pentecostal lifestyle. (ex: Dressess, uncut hair, no makeup, no jewelry) This nurse and other nurses began to mock my wife becuase of her religious stance. They said things like, "You won't last living that way." and "Your beliefs are outdated." etc... The charge nurse was in the area and allowed nurses under his control to badger my wife concerning her religious beliefs. They continued this in harsher terms than I am able to adequately describe. My wife did not run but maintained that she chooses the life she lives and she chooses this one.

My wife is not a wimp, is fully persuaded of her stance and is perfectly capable of "enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." Normally I am one to let it roll off my back. But when this is done to my wife I want to do something instead of doing nothing and feel like I am letting my wife be run over.

My qiestion: Would you attempt to take action if this were done to your spouse? Do you think that it would be wise or a "good witness" for our faith?

Your thoughts please...

Be there and support her. Listen to her and let her tell you if she wants you to step in. Don't do it on your own. That could be a mistake.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by bdlooney

My wife is currently in an accelerated LVN Nursing program that requires her to attend clinicals a few days a week. Her mother made her a few scrub skirts to bypass the whole pants thing.

Today, while in clinicals at a local hospital, she encountered a nurse that once lived (how do I say this?) a "traditional" Holiness Pentecostal lifestyle. (ex: Dressess, uncut hair, no makeup, no jewelry) This nurse and other nurses began to mock my wife becuase of her religious stance. They said things like, "You won't last living that way." and "Your beliefs are outdated." etc... The charge nurse was in the area and allowed nurses under his control to badger my wife concerning her religious beliefs. They continued this in harsher terms than I am able to adequately describe. My wife did not run but maintained that she chooses the life she lives and she chooses this one.

My wife is not a wimp, is fully persuaded of her stance and is perfectly capable of "enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." Normally I am one to let it roll off my back. But when this is done to my wife I want to do something instead of doing nothing and feel like I am letting my wife be run over.

My qiestion: Would you attempt to take action if this were done to your spouse? Do you think that it would be wise or a "good witness" for our faith?

Your thoughts please...

WOW! This brings back torturous memories from Junior High School.

[Pragmatist]

Originally Posted by bdlooney

My wife is currently in an accelerated LVN Nursing program that requires her to attend clinicals a few days a week. Her mother made her a few scrub skirts to bypass the whole pants thing.

Today, while in clinicals at a local hospital, she encountered a nurse that once lived (how do I say this?) a "traditional" Holiness Pentecostal lifestyle. (ex: Dressess, uncut hair, no makeup, no jewelry) This nurse and other nurses began to mock my wife becuase of her religious stance. They said things like, "You won't last living that way." and "Your beliefs are outdated." etc... The charge nurse was in the area and allowed nurses under his control to badger my wife concerning her religious beliefs. They continued this in harsher terms than I am able to adequately describe. My wife did not run but maintained that she chooses the life she lives and she chooses this one.

My wife is not a wimp, is fully persuaded of her stance and is perfectly capable of "enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." Normally I am one to let it roll off my back. But when this is done to my wife I want to do something instead of doing nothing and feel like I am letting my wife be run over.

My qiestion: Would you attempt to take action if this were done to your spouse? Do you think that it would be wise or a "good witness" for our faith?

Your thoughts please...

So these were nurses that worked in the hospital, not other students? I don't think there is much that can be done, other than select somewhere else to work when she completes her clinicals. Low class, definitely. We were encouraged to wear white dresses for our clinicals. I hope the mocker realizes the sorry condition of her heart.

Originally Posted by bdlooney

My wife is currently in an accelerated LVN Nursing program that requires her to attend clinicals a few days a week. Her mother made her a few scrub skirts to bypass the whole pants thing.

Today, while in clinicals at a local hospital, she encountered a nurse that once lived (how do I say this?) a "traditional" Holiness Pentecostal lifestyle. (ex: Dressess, uncut hair, no makeup, no jewelry) This nurse and other nurses began to mock my wife becuase of her religious stance. They said things like, "You won't last living that way." and "Your beliefs are outdated." etc... The charge nurse was in the area and allowed nurses under his control to badger my wife concerning her religious beliefs. They continued this in harsher terms than I am able to adequately describe. My wife did not run but maintained that she chooses the life she lives and she chooses this one.

My wife is not a wimp, is fully persuaded of her stance and is perfectly capable of "enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." Normally I am one to let it roll off my back. But when this is done to my wife I want to do something instead of doing nothing and feel like I am letting my wife be run over.

My qiestion: Would you attempt to take action if this were done to your spouse? Do you think that it would be wise or a "good witness" for our faith?

Your thoughts please...

She needs to make her clinical instructor aware that she has been targeted and subjected to religious harassment and discrimination. Her instructor should address this issue with the facility where your wife is doing her clinicals, because this is totally acceptable, and puts that facility at great risk for legal action (if they do that to your wife, they will do the same to others). As one with an HR background, I say that your wife needs to address this through the proper channels, for the sake of others who will face the same mess if it is not rectified.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by SISTER Murphy

She needs to make her clinical instructor aware that she has been targeted and subjected to religious harassment and discrimination. Her instructor should address this issue with the facility where your wife is doing her clinicals, because this is totally acceptable, and puts that facility at great risk for legal action (if they do that to your wife, they will do the same to others). As one with an HR background, I say that your wife needs to address this through the proper channels, for the sake of others who will face the same mess if it is not rectified.

Thank you. This is exactly what I was going to suggest. You can still be a strong Christian and do the right thing by reporting this.

Just because we are Christians does not mean you just have to "take it" - it doesn't mean you are weak. There are laws in place to take care of situations such as this.

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Thank you. This is exactly what I was going to suggest. You can still be a strong Christian and do the right thing by reporting this.

Just because we are Christians does not mean you just have to "take it" - it doesn't mean you are weak. There are laws in place to take care of situations such as this.

Absolutely. And I would give the same advice to anybody of any other religious persuasion who was mocked in the workplace for how he/she appeared in following his/her religious beliefs. This is the USA, and people have the freedom of religion in this country, and the right to not be harassed and discriminated against while exercising that freedom. And, on a personal note, shame on that licensed nurse who would do such a tacky, unprofessional thing as mock another individual for her appearance.

[rgcraig]

Found this on the web:

Some day you may be harassed because of your religion:
Someday you may be fired from a job because someone doesn't like your religion. You may have co-workers who constantly harass you, or try to convert you to their religion. Perhaps a supervisor will express disapproval of your religion or make it clear to you that you would get better treatment if both of you shared the same faith.
If this or any other form of religious discrimination or harassment ever happens to you, then you will be faced with a difficult set of decisions, starting with this: what do you want? Do you just want the harassment to stop? Do you want a transfer? If you were fired, do you want your old job back? Do you want the harassers disciplined? Should you try for compensation for lost wages or other damages?

Harassment and discrimination defined:
Before you can make these decisions, you need to understand the law about discrimination and harassment. There is no official definition of harassment, but it can be described as being singled out because of your religion for mistreatment, particularly if it makes it harder to do your job. If you are harassed by your superiors, this is discrimination.

U.S. workers employed "At Will:"
According to a 19th Century Supreme Court ruling, commonly called "Employment at Will," your employer may hire, fire, promote, or demote you at any time, for any reason , and without stating a reason, unless you have a written contract that states otherwise. There are generally four exceptions to this:
for your age, gender, ethnic or national origin, religion or any other reason mentioned in the civil rights acts;
for filing workplace safety complaints as covered by the Occupational Safety & Health Act;
for attempting to organize a union, protected by the National Fair Labor Practices Act; or
for any disability protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The burden of proof is on you:
However, because your employer does not have to give a reason for his or her action, the burden is on you to prove that you were fired, mistreated, or not hired was for one of the reasons given above.

Interview? Say "I prefer not to discuss religion at work:"
What should you do if you are asked questions about religion, either on a job application or during an interview? You should remember that there is no legal reason for an employer to ask you this; we suggest that you leave that field blank, or if asked, answer only, "I prefer not to discuss religion at work"--and then stick to it. If they don't hire you, you may have a perfect case for a religious discrimination lawsuit, so contact the nearest office of the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission (EEOC) or equivalent agency immediately.

Collect, preserve any evidence:
In the event you are fired or harassed on the job, unless you can produce documentation that can be presented in court that your mis-treatment was religious discrimination or harassment, you do not have a case. Therefore, if you think there is any risk that your employment situation may lead to a lawsuit or formal complaint, the most important thing you can do is to collect and preserve evidence.

Take notes in a spiral-bound notebook:
Buy a spiral-bound notebook, and after every incident that you consider to be harassment or discrimination, discreetly write down the name of the person who harassed you, where and when it happened, what they did or said, and the names of everyone who saw or heard it. It would be sensible to keep the existence of this notebook private.

If you can do so without calling attention to it, you might want to use a tape recorder. In most states, it is legal to tape any conversation that you're part of. If you do end up in court, your attorney will determine whether or not your tapes can be used as evidence.

Always get copies of your personnel file:
Whether or not you are being harassed now, try to get a copy of your personnel file at least once a year. You may have no actual right to a copy, but many employers will give you one if you ask. After all, if you have received favorable reviews until your religious trouble started, it might help to be able to prove it.

Co-workers may not be trying to hurt you:
In most cases, the people you work with are not really trying to hurt your feelings or make you angry. They probably just don't know any better. They may be trying to make a joke or convert you to their point of view. Many people are simply more comfortable around persons who share their value system.
If you quietly and privately explain what they have said or done that offended you, and how it made you feel, they'll probably stop. You need to be discreet and speak to them alone, with no one else around.

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Will a little gentle humor lower the tension?
If the situation becomes tense, consider a little gentle humor to lower the tension. Try not to embarrass them or put them on the defensive. It is better to act hurt than angry. If you are accused of having no sense of humor, ask them for example, if they would tell gas chamber jokes or Holocaust jokes to Jews.