Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea
No ... I really appreciate your perspective, DizzyDe.
Other than the slew of other issues that come with becoming a blended family w/ someone else ...
I worry about confusing my kids if I got re-married.
Yet, I want them to value marriage .... Its hard right now for them to do so ... not seeing a model to identify w/.
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I understand what you are saying, and don't want you to think that I think you should wait to remarry. I certainly don't think that. God can lead you into the perfect relationship for you and your family.
I went through the same emotions about my daughter, how was she ever going to learn the right things about marriage in our situation. I have been single since she was 11, and she is 20 now.
In my personal experience, I was lucky that I had family close by, her grandparents and aunts and uncles who all had strong, Godly marriages that she was around on a regular basis. And we talked a lot. I was always careful to make sure that she understood that our circumstance was not the way that God intended it to be, and that while our life was good, God had more than that in store for her.
I don't know if you have family around you, but you can also build a network of friends that you want to expose your children to on a regular basis, so they can see the beauty of Godly marriage. There is no perfect solution, this is part of the ugliness of divorce.
I strongly encourage open communication with your children, kids are not idiots, and they see more than we know. I don't mean sharing ugly details with them, but just allowing them to talk about what is going on in their heads and how they are perceiving what is going on.
When my daughter was in her early teens she went through a phase where she was really hung up on her life not being "fair". And she was right, it wasn't fair. I let her express that, but I always made sure that she understood that while life wasn't "fair", she also had incredible blessings. That while things were not perfect, they also weren't horrible. She had a parent who was completely devoted to her, a reasonably comfortable lifestyle, and multiple family members who would do just about anything for her. That is more than a lot of kids can say.
I guess my extremely long winded point is that, kids are remarkably resilient, and they can take a whole lot as long as they know that they are loved, and if you are trying your best to make the right choices for them.
I'll shut up now, got to get off the computer and do some last minute shopping!
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