Divorce in the church

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I believe there are some exceptions to this.

What if one party is into porn or have unresolved problems from their past. Or have a bent to being abusive.

How can that problem be shared with the other party? Surely, you aren't suggesting that the "innocent" party could have done something differently to prevent them from being that way.

Actually Renda, I do believe there are exceptions to every rule. The only thing that might be faulted is that the person covered the sin of their spouse and stayed in the relationship longer than they should have. I think there are many things on the same level or worse than physical adultery.

• Mental Cruelty
• Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual abuse
• Alienation of affection
• Withholding sex

for some...

Again, there are exceptions to every rule but only God truly knows the hearts.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by marthaolivia

My husband left me soon after I began going to church. We are now divorced. Once divorced I was no longer included in most of the social activities. I just don't fit. I am not included in the couples dinners, Valentine banquets, family get-togethers, etc. I am too old for the singles group, but at 65 I can't imagine going tubing. *smiles* I guess I am just too busy "cramming for my finals" to let insignificant things bother me. I've learned to be content no matter what..

Statistics show that men remarry within 6 mos- 2 years whereas women between 5-7 if they ever remarry. There are numerous reasons for this:

• As you have stated...women are busy getting re-trained/re-educated to join the workforce.
• Women usually have the children and don't have time to think about dating, nor the opportunity to do so because of the time and expense for sitters, ect.
• Women who are divorced are excluded, especially if they have any beauty at all because the married women hold tight to their husbands and fear that every single woman is trying to steal their husbands...such a falacy BTW.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

[*]Women who are divorced are excluded, especially if they have any beauty at all because the married women hold tight to their husbands and fear that every single woman is trying to steal their husbands...such a falacy BTW.[/LIST]

What? They should be excluded from married men.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Mrs. LPW

I think it comes from fear that the prevalence of divorce in the world will infiltrate the church. I know in mainstream Christianity it's become much more accepted and so instead of being kind, longsuffering, gentle with the hurting or even the sinning... Church folks get freaked out and do a lot more damage.

There has to be balance... we have to stand for marriage because there is a very real enemy who attacks our marriages and homes, as well as our own humanity that causes marital strife... but we also have to be filled with love toward those who are facing this, and understanding.

It's a delicate balance.

Mrs. LPW, This is a good post. Some preventative things that need to happen in our churches:

• Educating our children, teens on what a 'healthy' relationship is/looks like using scripture.
• Educating Adults on scriptural roles for husbands, wives, & children.
• Guidance in dating and boundaries.
• Extensive pre-marital counseling.
• after marriage - teaching and marriage enrichment activities and support groups.
• Some things lacking in many of our assmeblies.

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Statistics show that men remarry within 6 mos- 2 years whereas women between 5-7 if they ever remarry.

these men that remarry are they getting married to other men? Or why would it not effect men and women equally?

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

What? They should be excluded from married men.

I will clarify: Single women are excluded from group activites or going out to eat with other couples they previously associated with. I have heard married couples say they thought the single person would feel uncomfortable, but I think it is the married couple that feels uncomfortable.

Does that help?

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

these men that remarry are they getting married to other men? Or why would it not effect men and women equally?

Because some of the men are marrying younger women that have not been married.

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Because some of the men are marrying younger women that have not been married.

OK I suppose there is a higher incidence of that.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

these men that remarry are they getting married to other men? Or why would it not effect men and women equally?

*As you have stated...women are busy getting re-trained/re-educated to join the workforce.
*Women usually have the children and don't have time to think about dating, nor the opportunity to do so because of the time and expense for sitters, ect.
*Women who are divorced are excluded, especially if they have any beauty at all because the married women hold tight to their husbands and fear that every single woman is trying to steal their husbands...such a falacy BTW


*The highest population of poverty level people in the United States are single parent families headed by women.

*Men remarry because they need someone to take care of them and can't go for extended period without sex. They sometimes make foolish mistakes and marry the first woman that comes along to satisfy that urge.

Whereas women: Have fewer opportunities for dating and remarriage since men are looking for younger women, and dumber women Sorry - couldn't resist

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

I will clarify: Single women are excluded from group activites or going out to eat with other couples they previously associated with. I have heard married couples say they thought the single person would feel uncomfortable, but I think it is the married couple that feels uncomfortable.

Does that help?

I knew what you meant, but you needed to clarify.

And many times, you lose your married friends because they could have "taken sides."