Divorce in the church

[GodsBabyGirl]

Originally Posted by Mrs. LPW

...now if only there was something we could do to shake the ministry up on this one. Our district hasn't had a good marriage retreat in years... first they got rid of them altogether, and the last few were more expensive to go to than previous years.

You said something Rhoni, that struck a chord with me. You mentioned how there is the worry that if a separation or divorce would occur it would bring reproach on the church.

One (just one) of the big factors for us sticking it out was the fact that my mother's entire family are Anglican, and they've never known this wonderful Holy Ghost experience... and not one of her sisters and brother's marriages have broken up. At some of our lowest points it was in my mind that I wanted to keep the best witness possible for their sake...

Other factors were of course, I loved my dysfunctional hubby in spite of everything and I didn't want to displease the Lord either.

We have a young couple friend... married just a short time compared to us... but we know they argue alot... and it hurts us to hear them. It brings back a PILE of memories! I don't think they've gotten as bad as we had, but if they don't learn to work through these differences now, in five years they may have drifted too far apart. Our movement is going to suffer greatly if they don't figure out how to minister to the married. (as well as the single/never married and the divorced)

The church does not know how to effectively minister to marrieds, singles and divorced b/c we have learned to not deal with the issues that are very real to us today.

We have infidelity, AIDS, the down low, finances, conflict resolution, domestic violence just to name a few.

We need to married folks who been together for a minute to give seminars and counsel to young marrieds on how to stick it out. We need folk who have struggled with their sexuality-and came out VICTORIOUS on the other side of it and are happily married to minister to the guys on the down low and women struggling with their sexuality.

We need to hold financial seminars just for married folks.

We need teach folks how to fight fair and not take it to a physical level.

And what about AIDS/HIV???? We are dealing in a time when some folks are gonna come in positive or dyng of AIDS. Do we marry them or forbid it?

Can we effectively inform the couples of what is going to happen when you marry an HIV positive partner?

And it is my belief that there is absolutely not enough pre marital counseling.

I think one year of pre marital counseling would not be a bad idea.

Folks have issues, let's be real. And in three to four sessions, they can hide those issues if it means they can get down the aisle in a hurry.

But time has a way of revealing all things. Even those things folks don't want to come surfacing to the top.

Take your time. Make an informed decision.

That's my motto...

Sis Wenona

[Mrs. LPW]

Originally Posted by williamsbaby

The church does not know how to effectively minister to marrieds, singles and divorced b/c we have learned to not deal with the issues that are very real to us today.

Take your time. Make an informed decision.

That's my motto...

Sis Wenona

So true, and excellent motto.

[rgcraig]

I appreciate all that you've said here Mrs. LPW!

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Mrs. LPW

...now if only there was something we could do to shake the ministry up on this one. Our district hasn't had a good marriage retreat in years... first they got rid of them altogether, and the last few were more expensive to go to than previous years.

You said something Rhoni, that struck a chord with me. You mentioned how there is the worry that if a separation or divorce would occur it would bring reproach on the church.

One (just one) of the big factors for us sticking it out was the fact that my mother's entire family are Anglican, and they've never known this wonderful Holy Ghost experience... and not one of her sisters and brother's marriages have broken up. At some of our lowest points it was in my mind that I wanted to keep the best witness possible for their sake...

Other factors were of course, I loved my dysfunctional hubby in spite of everything and I didn't want to displease the Lord either.

We have a young couple friend... married just a short time compared to us... but we know they argue alot... and it hurts us to hear them. It brings back a PILE of memories! I don't think they've gotten as bad as we had, but if they don't learn to work through these differences now, in five years they may have drifted too far apart. Our movement is going to suffer greatly if they don't figure out how to minister to the married. (as well as the single/never married and the divorced)

Mrs LPW,

I echo Renda..

I appreciate all that you've said here Mrs. LPW!

Blessings, Rhoni

[Trouvere]

this thread has been such a good discussion.I was in a conversation with a pastor friend yesterday and the topic was that a certain minister was not allowed all the privilages all the other ministers in a certain church had because he had been divorced and remarried even though it was not his fault.This minister was given alot of responsibilities in the church and promised things but when another minister came to help in this work who had never been divorced he was chosen to take over the higher position.The first brother who had been divorced though it was not his fault was punished by
being pushed aside due to having a divorce in his past..I thought this was so harsh.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

this thread has been such a good discussion.I was in a conversation with a pastor friend yesterday and the topic was that a certain minister was not allowed all the privilages all the other ministers in a certain church had because he had been divorced and remarried even though it was not his fault.This minister was given alot of responsibilities in the church and promised things but when another minister came to help in this work who had never been divorced he was chosen to take over the higher position.The first brother who had been divorced though it was not his fault was punished by
being pushed aside due to having a divorce in his past..I thought this was so harsh.

It was.

[Trouvere]

The thing about it is that this attitude is in alot of assemblies and not only apostolic.When I was catholic the most precious thing to us was to be able to
partake in communion service.Well if you are divorced then communion is forbidden.I have a dear cousin who loves God and love the catholic church.She did not marry until in her early thirties.The man she married is someone she went to high school with.He is awesome and the cities fire chief.We went to a funeral for one of our mutual relatives and communion was partaken of.I looked back and noticed the tears in her eyes as she sat there and everyone else went up for communion.It was disheartening to say the least.Here is someone who is probably the kindest individual I know and doesn't have to work at it like I do.It just comes natural to her and she is sitting there suffering because of a man made rule.God would never forbid her to come to Him.

[berkeley]

Sis Wenona,

Not to change the topic, but I heard that the 'down low' is very common in the black community, and the men justify it because they are still with their wives or girlfriends.
Why do you think they would find it an acceptable practice, and yet not label themselves as gay or bisexual?

-berk

I'd like to say Thank you to my friend who reached out to me after reading a few of my last posts on this thread. Thanks for the encouragement.

Your words went deep and they helped me to see things a little differently.

I appreciate it.

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by Ronzo

Just know that I'm pretty sick of this type of ignorance in the church... but I'll refrain from further comment on these two situations because more than likely, I'll say something really ugly...

I am just now looking at this thread, but I want to echo my disdain for that kind of ignorance.