Dear Pastor Ogatt: Advice thread

[OP_Carl]

Dear Pastor Ogatt,

My husband Tillard was coming home from fishing last week when his old truck finally rusted plumb in two. He and his ol' dog Blue were killed instantly in the crash. Once we got over the shock, we set out to comply with his wishes that he had spelled out in his will. It was a bit of a struggle since Tillard was never a learned man of letters. Well, it turns out that his lawyer Furgiss Blackpond wasn't much of one either, on account of how mixed up everything got. At any rate we've got trouble big because our preacher flat refuses to do the funeral for ol' Blue, and Tillard's brother Zeke refuses to pick him up from the taxidermist. Of course it's too late now to fix the mix-up, and we've done spent all the insurance money.

Could you recommend any good-hearted preachers that preaches good funerals and loves dogs real good in Eastern Kentucky to help us out?

Thank you.

The Widder Murphy