Gays, family ties and opening up....

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

We had a gay man attending our church for a while. He is living with the son of one of our members.

Honestly, I did not have a problem with this as he tried to pray and seemed to want to change. He finally told our pastor he didn't want to change.

When he told our son that he was "beautiful" it became personal for me and I struggled with - correction - am struggling to have compassion on him. My first thought was - "I wouldn't care if you dropped dead now."

I think when it becomes personal it's another whole ball game to work through.

Sorry, if anyone is offended by my feelings. I honestly am trying to work through this. He doesn't attend anymore, but my husband said, which he didn't mean and was speaking out of fear - "If he touches my son, I'll beat him to death with a baseball bat".

That is how volatile feelings can run, for some, with this issue. Just being honest.

I agree. If someone came after me or my kid that way it would be different whether it is same sex or not. But just purely being gay has nothing to do with that. Some gay people, men especially are very over the top and want to sleep with every man they see....some aren't, my family isn't. Not that you are doing this, but people are naive when they think all gays are the same. Every straight person ain't the same either. Gays are not out to recruit other to 'gaydom' or 'homosexualville'

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

If they aren't "with" other gays they aren't going to contact AIDS.

It's a tough situation because they were friends first and to having to give up the long-time friendship will be very difficult.

I know that. That was not my point. My point was that it is better for them to seperate out of choice that it would be for either of them to lose the other because of AIDS. AIDS is not only a gay persons disease, ask Arthur Ashes family. He was as straight as everything but a blood transfusion got him.

[rgcraig]

I misunderstood what you were saying too. Sorry.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I agree. If someone came after me or my kid that way it would be different whether it is same sex or not. But just purely being gay has nothing to do with that. Some gay people, men especially are very over the top and want to sleep with every man they see....some aren't, my family isn't. Not that you are doing this, but people are naive when they think all gays are the same. Every straight person ain't the same either. Gays are not out to recruit other to 'gaydom' or 'homosexualville'

Right. I do understand that, but this guy is different. He has parties at his house on the weekends and hands out free liquor, drugs, cigarettes and porn to the minors that come over. Everyone in town knows he does this and no one stops him. He is a huge guy and sickening. He reminds me of "Jaba the Hut" on Star Wars.

Right now, I feel like I hate him for what he is doing. I know it's wrong, but at least I am facing how I feel about it. That's a start. Right? lol

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Right. I do understand that, but this guy is different. He has parties at his house on the weekends and hands out free liquor, drugs, cigarettes and porn to the minors that come over. Everyone in town knows he does this and no one stops him. He is a huge guy and sickening. He reminds me of "Jaba the Hut" on Star Wars.

Right now, I feel like I hate him for what he is doing. I know it's wrong, but at least I am facing how I feel about it. That's a start. Right? lol

Those actions are worthless not matter the gender or the sexual preferance. Feeling a certain way and acting on those feels are two different issues. You can feel however you want to. Acting on those feels hurts everyone but you. Yor family loses you cause of jail and what not. If this person is of age and the people going to his parties are of age too no one can do anything. If the people going are under age then there is a responsability for someone to tell the law about it. I would feel the same way you do. But I say trust your kids, not sure how old they are, to make the right choices. Also keep in mind that because he calls your son pretty or beautiful does not directly mean he is going after him.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Right. I do understand that, but this guy is different. He has parties at his house on the weekends and hands out free liquor, drugs, cigarettes and porn to the minors that come over. Everyone in town knows he does this and no one stops him. He is a huge guy and sickening. He reminds me of "Jaba the Hut" on Star Wars.

Right now, I feel like I hate him for what he is doing. I know it's wrong, but at least I am facing how I feel about it. That's a start. Right? lol

Those type of men ruin children's and adolescent's lives. He almost sound like a pedophile. Disgusting that he preys on the innocents of those who dont know any better.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Those actions are worthless not matter the gender or the sexual preferance. Feeling a certain way and acting on those feels are two different issues. You can feel however you want to. Acting on those feels hurts everyone but you. Yor family loses you cause of jail and what not. If this person is of age and the people going to his parties are of age too no one can do anything. If the people going are under age then there is a responsability for someone to tell the law about it. I would feel the same way you do. But I say trust your kids, not sure how old they are, to make the right choices. Also keep in mind that because he calls your son pretty or beautiful does not directly mean he is going after him.

They are underage and no one cares. He decorates for the community and.....Lord, forget it. I can't stand thinking about it. The whole town is friendly to him. I just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is suing Walmart because one the employees, a friend of my SIL, didn't want to wait on him. lol

He is a very aggressive, offensive person. As long as I'm in church he is safe. I can't promise him anything if I were out. lol

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Those type of men ruin children's and adolescent's lives. He almost sound like a pedophile. Disgusting to prey on the innocents of those who dont know any better.

I'd like him to be saved as it would be a wonderful witness of God's mercy, compassion and delivering power, but if not - I wish he would hurry up and drop dead.

Lord, I have a way to go.

Yes, my son is beautiful, er I mean handsome!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I'd like him to be saved as it would be a wonderful witness of God's mercy, compassion and delivering power, but if not - I wish he would hurry up and drop dead.

Lord, I have a way to go.

I think I would feel the same way, you are just saying what other people are thinking! Just don't let OP hear you!

[Rico]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Not certain I understand where you are going here...Not all gays get AIDS and not all the people with AIDS are gay. The only men that JA and his bf are attracted to are each other. Otherwise they would mostlikely be with women. Neither have AIDS. The point of my post you quoted is that it is better to go through the hurt of not seeing and communicating with one another than it would be for either of them to get AIDS and lose the partner that way.

This is probably one of those trying to communicate over the internet type of things. The reason I asked is because of the second part of your statement. If they are only attracted to each other, and neither of them is HIV+ then it stands to reason they wouldn't have to worry about getting AIDS.

This definitely sounds like a unique situation to be dealing with. Here you have two men who, other than each other, are not attracted to other males. They both want to do what's right in the sight of God and are wrestling with how to do that and still stay friends. It's a tough one, to say the least. It's easy to tell them to stay away from each other, but you already know that option could be setting them up to fail big time if they find they just can't be apart from each other. I would say they should at least try going for a time with no sexual contact, to see how that works first. Then, if that doesn't work, they could try being completely away from each other. If that doesn't work, I don't know what else to suggest.