Is divorce a sin if no one was unfaithful?

[tamor]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Well, we got married at the court house, and I don't think that was actually part of the vows...but yeah, I get your point.

In my case, I do not believe it to be a sin, and to be honest, God doesn't weigh heavily into the equation. I think it all comes down to my personal integrity. I'm not a quitter, and I am not the type to dump my problems for someone else to take care of.

I think the biggest struggle is always trying to stay postive. I am still young, I have a long life ahead of me (knock on wood), potentially 40 to 50 years. That is a really long time to be in a empty marriage. More than anything I am afraid that I will wake up in 20 years and feel like I spent the best years of my life in a prison of my own making. And yet, I don't want to fall prey to "the grass is greener" syndrome.

That I can understand.

I felt alot of the same sentiments in my first marriage. I tried so hard to keep things together and to "protect" my ex-husband's name and image.

Like you, I did not want to fall to the grass is greener syndrome, but I also wondered what it would be like when the girls were grown and gone. My situation just got to a point that the things I was trying to keep my girls from finding out were being exposed by others. I chose to remove them and myself from the situations that I had been living, and to try to provide a clean, christian atmosphere for them for their last few years at home.

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by tamor

That I can understand.

I felt alot of the same sentiments in my first marriage. I tried so hard to keep things together and to "protect" my ex-husband's name and image.

Like you, I did not want to fall to the grass is greener syndrome, but I also wondered what it would be like when the girls were grown and gone. My situation just got to a point that the things I was trying to keep my girls from finding out were being exposed by others. I chose to remove them and myself from the situations that I had been living, and to try to provide a clean, christian atmosphere for them for their last few years at home.

This is precisely why I have chosen not to have any children. This situation wouldn't be fair to them (or to me for that matter). Though, that is also one of the things that makes it difficult. Because If my situation changed, kids wouldn't be out of the question.

[Pro31:28]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

I guess the story of Hosea says nothing to you.

OUCH!

[Pro31:28]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Perhaps the better question would be "how can I please God in this situation?"

Divorce may not be the best option, and is amost resoundingly discouraged, even when there truly are situations that fall within the parameters of Biblical allowance.

Maybe the answer is to stop looking for a way out, and to start looking for hope, restoration and the peace of God.

Ditto what he said!

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus is raising the bar going beyond the requirements of the law. What he does not say is that lust is equal to adultery. A Pharisee might say I have never committed adultery, but Jesus was saying that they still had sinned.
Lust is equal to violating the spirit of the law even though it doesn't violate the letter. It doesn't say if you lust you have already committed adultery it says you have done that in your heart. Still a sin, but not the same.

Thanks for your response.

[Darcie]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Now this is a subject near and dear to my heart

I say that only half joking. Most of you know that my marital situation is far from ideal. Most of it is due to my husband having Asperger's syndrome.

It's not something he can help. There is no fix, or cure for it. It just is, what it is. Because he cannot really socially relate to other people, we will never have that kind of intimacy or connection that should exist in a marriage. Since his asperger's causes him to have limited and focused interests, we really have no common interests and very little to discuss. And as his condition also causes problems with employement, I continue to be the sole provider, and well, quite frankly, I do everything.

I think if he were a little more able to care for himself that we most likely wouldn't still be together. But I feel responsbile him. (Not to mention as I have supported him the bulk of our time together, with my luck I would end up having to pay him alimony).

The way I look at it, If I am going to have to support him, I might as well have him around to do the heavy lifting.

But I can't lie, I do occasionally daydream about being swept off my feet, or running away from it all.

Please understand my heart, I don't mean to be insensitive. Considering his disease how well did you guys get along before you were married? Has it gotten worse? Sorry for my ignorance, I know very little about the disease.

[Joelel]

Originally Posted by Theresa

What if church folks divorce, without biblical cause...is this a sin for them? Or would it be a sin to remarry?

There is so much divorce in the church anyway, I wondered what your thoughts were on the matter...

Yes.

Math.19:2: And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3: The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4: And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, (adultery) and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


1 Cor.7:10: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11: But and if she depart, ( for anything other then adultery) let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


1 Cor.7:12: But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage (under bondage means, you are not bound by the law of marriage because the person is not a believer and God didn't join them together) in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by Joelel

Yes.

Math.19:2: And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3: The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4: And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, (adultery) and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


1 Cor.7:10: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11: But and if she depart, ( for anything other then adultery) let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


1 Cor.7:12: But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage (under bondage means, you are not bound by the law of marriage because the person is not a believer and God didn't join them together) in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Maybe indicating where you have added to the Scripture would be a good idea, rather than just throwing your commentary in the middle of them as if it appears there.

[Ferd]

something that keeps coming to my mind is that this subject deals with actual real human beings that are either hurt, or have been hurt quite severly.

Divorce doesnt exist without serious emotional pain.

we arent talking about a clinical set of statistics we are talking about actual people who have spent more nights than they care to remember in gut wrenching agony over a loss as real as death.

i am not willing to discuss divorce without also recognizing that this issue isnt simply a mental exercise.

God bless and heal those who have suffered.

[Theresa]

Originally Posted by The Mrs

I just wanted to give a shout out to Theresa.

Hey girl! Good to see you!