Emotional Vampires

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Pro31:28

Hey guys,

I was doing some reading yesterday and came across the term "emotional vampires" these are extremely emotionally needy people.
From an article:
"They complain, boast, brag and some are all about self pity. The key is, they drain us and use us to dump on us feeling afterward energized, making us feel wiped out and with a huge headache. We feel our energy has been robbed..." http://www.ehow.com/how_2243972_reco...paign=yssp_art

I have heard the term before but yesterday I thought a lot about it. I think because I am a natural encourager, I tend to attract these people. I have seen a lot of them and I was just curious what other people thought about it. Maybe our resident counselor, or our AFF pastors can shed some light on it for us

Do you know any of these?
Do you think the church attracts these kinds of people?
What should be done about them?

Prov31,

It is my observation that 'emotional vampires' are not just contained within churches. They are people on the job, in churches, in communities, that when you ask them how they are they give you an hour long dissertation. They are people who have to call and talk for hours reiterating the same things over and over again. They always have a problem and always want to explain what they mean like it will change the way you think about them or the situation.

Dr. Laura handles it well. She cuts them off and says, "Answer the question." She then tells them she don't have time to listen to it, it won't change the outcome. She finailzes it by saying. "I am going to hang up now...go and do the right thing".

There are 'needy' people that do need encouragement when they are coming out of a dysfunctional environment, or relationship, or just coming to God. Many just need discipled, a Bible study, a prayer group, or a therapist, Just ask God for wisdom to discern and stay away from people that emotionally zap your strength and victory.

Even as a therapist, I have to know when it is a bad time to listen to other people's problems and when to get away for some self care. You cannot give to others when you are going through something equally as difficult or you need a break.

Boundaries is the answer. Do not listen, do not go where they are, do not give the open door for the discussion. If you happen to get caught by someone like this...find a reason to break away, time to meet someone, have to go do..., expecting a phone call. Practice saying, "No".

Blessings, Rhoni