Emotional Vampires

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Margie,

Suggest a Divorce Support/Recovery group or individual counseling and set boundaries. A divorced person should not date until all the past issues have been resolved. Their issues are emotionally draining on anyone within earshot. I drained my friends for years until I got myself into therapy.

Blessings, Rhoni

Thanks, Rhoni. Good advice. She is in counseling right now. She even has her kids going to one as well. And she went thru a Divorce Support/Recovery group at a nearby mega church. In fact, she's gone thru it twice. And after the second time thru, they invited her to lead a group, which she did. And now she wants to start a group our church (which I think is a good idea. I think church's should have things like this to reach out to people who are hurting)

She knows she shouldn't be dating. Talks about that all the time. But at the same time she talks about the guys she is "friends" with and how they go out to eat and out to dance and to the movies, etc. And she told me on Sunday that she's signed up on EHarmony now. Geesh!!

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Margies3

Thanks, Rhoni. Good advice. She is in counseling right now. She even has her kids going to one as well. And she went thru a Divorce Support/Recovery group at a nearby mega church. In fact, she's gone thru it twice. And after the second time thru, they invited her to lead a group, which she did. And now she wants to start a group our church (which I think is a good idea. I think church's should have things like this to reach out to people who are hurting)

She knows she shouldn't be dating. Talks about that all the time. But at the same time she talks about the guys she is "friends" with and how they go out to eat and out to dance and to the movies, etc. And she told me on Sunday that she's signed up on EHarmony now. Geesh!!

Some women can't live without a man and are always on the prowl. Many times people know what to do but doing it is always another story.

Blessings, Rhoni

[DividedThigh]

yikes, rhoni good advice, sadly even good advice is not always heeded, lol, this is a crazy world, so you like sean connery huh, isnt he a little old for you, lol

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Pro31:28

Hey guys,

I was doing some reading yesterday and came across the term "emotional vampires" these are extremely emotionally needy people.

Do you know any of these?
Do you think the church attracts these kinds of people?
What should be done about them?

I have known quite a few, I have actually decided that I somehow attract them! I will have friendships with people that start out great, and then all of the sudden I am in this huge trap of being the emotional support for someone.

That is not to say that I mind helping people, I don't, that is why I have wound up in these situations. I have a very strong ability to empathize, which sometimes is a curse.

When it turns into a problem is when you give and give and try endlessly to help someone, and you continually wind up back at the same place, with the same problems, and this person sucking you dry emotionally while never doing the things they need to do to get out of their problems.

The hardest part for me, is when I realize I have to cut the cord because I cannot help the person, it makes me feel like a monster. I will of course continue to love them and pray for them, but I cannot kill myself trying to help someone, who ultimately, if the truth be told, doesn't really want help, they just want attention.

Side note, the majority of people who I have experienced this with have not been church people.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by DividedThigh

yikes, rhoni good advice, sadly even good advice is not always heeded, lol, this is a crazy world, so you like sean connery huh, isnt he a little old for you, lol

DT,

Sean Connery is one of the last of his breed; a true gentleman, romantic, and chivalrous. It is so difficult to find these traits in younger men. It is not so much his looks but what I have seen him stand for.

Maybe, I am just an old soul.

Blessing, Rhoni

[DividedThigh]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

DT,

Sean Connery is one of the last of his breed; a true gentleman, romantic, and chivalrous. It is so difficult to find these traits in younger men. It is not so much his looks but what I have seen him stand for.

Maybe, I am just an old soul.

Blessing, Rhoni

i am just teasing you i always liked his acting and he was the best james bond ever, lol

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

I have known quite a few, I have actually decided that I somehow attract them! I will have friendships with people that start out great, and then all of the sudden I am in this huge trap of being the emotional support for someone.

That is not to say that I mind helping people, I don't, that is why I have wound up in these situations. I have a very strong ability to empathize, which sometimes is a curse.

When it turns into a problem is when you give and give and try endlessly to help someone, and you continually wind up back at the same place, with the same problems, and this person sucking you dry emotionally while never doing the things they need to do to get out of their problems.

The hardest part for me, is when I realize I have to cut the cord because I cannot help the person, it makes me feel like a monster. I will of course continue to love them and pray for them, but I cannot kill myself trying to help someone, who ultimately, if the truth be told, doesn't really want help, they just want attention.

Side note, the majority of people who I have experienced this with have not been church people.

Dizzy,

It is easy to fall into the co-dependent trap of needing to be needed. Boundaries are good here too. Many co-dependent people deny their own needs while helping others, and then getting angry at the other person when they become overwhelmed or feeling empty.

Blessings, Rhoni

[DividedThigh]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

I have known quite a few, I have actually decided that I somehow attract them! I will have friendships with people that start out great, and then all of the sudden I am in this huge trap of being the emotional support for someone.

That is not to say that I mind helping people, I don't, that is why I have wound up in these situations. I have a very strong ability to empathize, which sometimes is a curse.

When it turns into a problem is when you give and give and try endlessly to help someone, and you continually wind up back at the same place, with the same problems, and this person sucking you dry emotionally while never doing the things they need to do to get out of their problems.

The hardest part for me, is when I realize I have to cut the cord because I cannot help the person, it makes me feel like a monster. I will of course continue to love them and pray for them, but I cannot kill myself trying to help someone, who ultimately, if the truth be told, doesn't really want help, they just want attention.

Side note, the majority of people who I have experienced this with have not been church people.

so true diz, hang in there god will lead you to people that only you can help and give you the strength to endure or cut the cord, let him help you, your heart is in the right place, dt

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by DividedThigh

i am just teasing you i always liked his acting and he was the best james bond ever, lol

I like his role as King Arthur. He was the stability that Lady G needed and in the end did not deny her the passion she also needed. He knew what true love was...in his role as King Arthur that is

Blessings, Rhoni

[DividedThigh]

that is true, he is just a great actor no doubt, lol, dt