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Re: Would Like Some Guidance
I suggest a quiet remembrance. Something mailed to her, perhaps, that she can look at (or even cry over) in private when she receives it. It can be awkward to receive a very sentimental gift in person. But remembering her lost child's birthday is very sweet and appropriate. My sister lost a newborn son about 20 years ago, and she still visits his grave every year on his birthday.
Definitely keep any messages you add very simple as well. Just knowing that you've thought about her at all is enough.  If it were me, I'd probably just sign my name under "Thinking of you" and that's about it.
My 2 cents!
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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