One of the Biggest Mistakes - Page 23

LaVonne · #**221** 12-02-2008, 05:24 PM

I don't have the time to read through this entire thread, it's gotten pretty long. When I was in UPC I did not know how to say "No"...I was afraid I'd disappoint the ministry and that they'd have to do the work if I didn't. I know many who did the same thing I did and became so tired that they could barely function. I am not bitter toward UPC and I don't think ILG is either...there have been many disappointments and I think we have the right to express it.

Michael Phelps · #**222** 12-02-2008, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CareyM

I don't have the time to read through this entire thread, it's gotten pretty long. When I was in UPC I did not know how to say "No"...I was afraid I'd disappoint the ministry and that they'd have to do the work if I didn't. I know many who did the same thing I did and became so tired that they could barely function. I am not bitter toward UPC and I don't think ILG is either...there have been many disappointments and I think we have the right to express it.

THanks for your honesty, CareyM.......

TalkLady · #**223** 12-02-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

I think one of the biggest mistakes that the UPC makes is the emphasis on church, church, church rather than family. People are expected to come bare minimum of 3 services a week, just so they are not "forsaking the assembling" and then there are the bible studies, door knocking, bake sales, singing, etc. etc. etc. on top of it all. I have heard it said that some pastors emphasize a family night one night a week (mine did not). So, are the other 6 to be used for church?? There is little teaching on marriage, family, balance etc. Almost all the teaching, in my experience, is on Acts 2:38, going to church, winning the lost, giving and giving and giving to the church.

I don't think it has ever been God's will for people to spend so much time at church and doing church things. We need to focus on our families, our kids, our marriages, our work etc. This is the work of God. That should not be forgotten.

Compared to the independent churches I have attended in the past, I did not think there was as much emphasis on church, church, church in the UPC churches but I agree with your post! I've seen people sacrifice their families for the local church and sadly those in the local church aren't around now that the family is gone. Sad. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. I've seen that verse thrown out the window a few times.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Hoovie · #**224** 12-02-2008, 06:21 PM

Bless you ILG. The original points of this thread are right on target.

The family unit is a sacred, primary institution, ordained by God himself.

Sister Alvear · #**225** 12-02-2008, 06:33 PM

I wish there had been more teaching on the family years ago...however we live and learn. I do wish I had spent more time with my kids when they were growing up.
What a blessed day we live in with so many good books to help us along the way...
And Stephen you are so right!

StMark · #**226** 12-02-2008, 07:07 PM

WOW! so many hurt and bitter people. this is sad. I pray that they can be heald of their hurts towards the UPC and not shadow box their experience with all churches.

The truth is, there are some unqualified pastors in leadership who are simply uneducated and out of their callings.

Everyone gets hurt in ALL types of churches.

rgcraig · #**227** 12-02-2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StMark

WOW! so many hurtand bitter people. this is sad. I pray that they can be heald of their hurts towards the UPC and not shadow box their experience with all churches.

The truth is, there are some unqualified pastors in leadership who are simply uneducated and out of their callings.

Everyone gets hurt in ALL types of churches.

Mark,

I don't see anyone bitter on this thread. Just people being honest.

StMark · #**228** 12-02-2008, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Mark,

I don't see anyone bitter on this thread. Just people being honest.

They've admitted they were hurt Renda. If not on this thread then in past ones.

We've all been hurt by the church Renda. some worse then others.

I just hate to see people revel in it for years while all the other hurt people come along and
lick each others wounds and remain in that state. not making fun. Just hate to see it happen

Most people will never come clean and admit they are bitter.
there's a shame associated with it but when you've dealt with
church people all of your life you can read all the signs

Pressing-On · #**229** 12-02-2008, 07:51 PM

ILG,
I apologize for coming on so strong in my earlier post. I can be very passionate about some things.

Something Ferd pointed out in his earlier post rings very true for me and my husband.

"For some staying and being right is the only thing that can be done because in the end, someone will be needed to clean up the mess."

This seems to have been our lot in life - staying, seeing things through and being part of the team that cleans up the mess when it's over. I think we are all made for difference services and God uses our personalities in these areas.

I think our children were tired of hearing, "We are going to see this through!"

That doesn't mean I agree with everything and have never voiced my frustration. I've vented with some friends on this very forum. It's just not something I would do openly. Even though some things can really rankle you, you know you have it to do and you have to turn your face to the wind and keep walking.

I think it's not good for me to post on such a thread. lol It only makes me feel impatient when I've seen things falling apart and you are trying to hold it together because you know in the grander scheme of things, the victory is so sublime.

We've just passed through a very trying time here. My husband, as is his way, took the helm, steadied the boat and sailed us to the other side, of course, with God's guidance. The victory is sweet! I had all this in mind when I was posting.

Again, I apologize. I'm sorry to offend.

rgcraig · #**230** 12-02-2008, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StMark

They've admitted they were hurt Renda. If not on this thread then in past ones.

We've all been hurt by the church Renda. some worse then others.

I just hate to see people revel in it for years and always come along and
lick each others wounds and remain in that state.

Most people will never come clean and admit they are bitter.
there's a shame associated with it but when you've dealt with
church people all of your life you can read all the signs

All hurt doesn't cause bitterness. Some don't seem to see that.