Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

[JEdwards]

Hello all, Jeff here. I can sympathize with the person on somewhat of a level with them being asked to leave or being kicked out. One experience that I had was when I had just turned 16 years old.

Although my family was not in church when I was growing up, they allowed me to attend the UPC in our county. I grew up there, grew up with the kids in the church, and knew the people in the church because they were like my other family, my "churched" family.

There was one particular lady in our church who claimed to have the gift of discernment. One particular Sunday night during the testimonies part of the service, this lady (whom I knew since I could barely walk and grew up with her kids) stood up. In front of God and the whole congregation, she began to tell everyone that she "discerned" of me that I had the "spirit of homosexuality." I had never been called out in a service before (I had seen it happen before, but never to me), and so I just sat there stunned beyond belief. I sat there as quietly as I could, and felt the blood drain from my body. Now mind you, I was raised in a little town in the south where sex education wasn't even taught in school at that time. I barely knew anything about sex, much less the "spirit of homosexuality."

After the service was over, the pastor called me into his office. He began to ask me some really personal questions that I honestly didn't have the answers to. When I couldn't give him any answers, he just left me sitting in his office, and I eventually got up and left for home.

Although I wasn't necessarily asked to leave, no one in the church spoke to me after that. The only ones who would even acknowledge me in the church building or during the service were the elder, seasoned saints who had been there forever. I lived 4 miles from church at the time and always rode the church van to and from church. The church van driver stopped coming and getting me after that service. Because I didn't want my family to know what happened, that whole summer I would put on my church clothes and tennis shoes and would walk 4 miles to church and 4 miles back home (my family thought I was doing it for the exercise).

Eventually I took the hint and didn't go back anymore. It brought my heart and my spirit at the ripe age of 16. I did start attending the other apostolic church in our county (it was independent). The pastor there knew of the situation and took me right on in. He saw talent in me and allowed me to play a musical instrument on the platform during the church services. It meant the world to me.

I say all this to make the point that there are some screwball pastors out there who don't have a clue about shepherding a flock that God has given them. But on the other hand, there are some great and wonderful men of God who really know the mind of God. If it weren't for that pastor taking me in and letting me know that God was in control, I probably would have never entered another apostolic church again.

Blessings, Jeff