Headlines from the year 2029

[Esther]

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

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White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language
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Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
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Baby conceived naturally!
Scientists stumped.
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Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
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France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
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Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
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George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
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Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
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85-year, $75..8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
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Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
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Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

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Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

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Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
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Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
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Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
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New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 as lethal weapons.
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IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
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Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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Now, send this to whom ever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....
NOTHING will happen.
No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile
or very very scared.

I Love This Country!
It's The Government That Scares Me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Someone has quite the imagination.

[Timmy]

And some of the thread titles on AFF in 2029:

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Is Baptism essential unto salvation?
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Holy Magic Hair again!
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You are using the wrong NAME! Still!
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One step or three?
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AFP blah blah
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UR blah blah
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Timmy banned.... FINALLY!!!
~~~~~

[Monkeyman]

More AFF threads:
Are Halograms of the Devil?

[RandyWayne]

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IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
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The line below it would read:

But lowest 51% of wage earners can expect further tax relief expected to be funded by 10% surcharge on the 10% wealthiest.

[Arphaxad]

I remember a couple predictions OMNI magazine printed in 1979 for around this year:

"USSR uses tachyons to send information back in time and becomes dominate superpower"

"Mars colonized"


so much for predictions

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Arphaxad

I remember a couple predictions OMNI magazine printed in 1979 for around this year:

"USSR uses tachyons to send information back in time and becomes dominate superpower"

"Mars colonized"


so much for predictions

I also seem to remember hearing some predictions for the rapture and the rise of the Antichrist. Who can forget Urshans meeting in the desert in the (I believe) early 80's?

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I also seem to remember hearing some predictions for the rapture and the rise of the Antichrist. Who can forget Urshans meeting in the desert in the (I believe) early 80's?

I have the Prophecy Digest books and 1988 Reasons Why Jesus Will Return in 1988!!

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by Timmy

And some of the thread titles on AFF in 2029:

~~~~~
Is Baptism essential unto salvation?
~~~~~
Holy Magic Hair again!
~~~~~
You are using the wrong NAME! Still!
~~~~~
One step or three?
~~~~~
AFP blah blah
~~~~~
UR blah blah
~~~~~
Timmy banned.... FINALLY!!!
~~~~~

You where actually funny for a change......

[RevDWW]

Progressives celebrate 20 years with out the Constitution.

[Norman]

The Empire of Texas remains one of the richest nations in the western hemisphere.