Family Structure

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by jaamez

Another insight...

I re-read your article and it brought to mind something I witnessed for myself several years ago.

An area pastor has set himself up as the supreme authority over the people in his congregation. They had to ask his permission and advice for things like... applying for a specific job, purchasing a new home, going on vacation, etc. He was extremely controlling and, as was already pointed out, his congregation was typically the less educated among us - all with hearts to serve God to the extent He was revealed to them, but never mentored and discipled on how to live for God for themselves.

A scandal rocked the church (I don't recall the specifics) and there was a split. Many families came to our congregation, which at the time was considered stable, balanced and moderate. The unfortunate result of these families coming from a strictly controlled environment to a more moderate setting was that many didn't know how to live for God. They had been taught quite well how to serve a god of fierce rules and performance-based gospel, but had no concept of how to live for the TRUE GOD without someone dictating their every move. It's very sad to say, but most of these families have fallen completely away and have been ravaged by divorce, drunkenness, addictions, immorality, etc. Perhaps it's that pendulum effect that Bro. Wasmundt talks about. I have a hunch, though, that you have hit the nail on the head. It's because this "pastor" had set himself up as the head of every family in that congregation. The fathers/husbands had no idea how to step into their God-ordained role as leaders of their families because it had been usurped (abdicated, really) for so long.

Absolutely right!!! This is where true education and counseling comes into effect. Saints need to be taught more from the pulpit and less one on one manipulating and controling families to suit their own purposes.

Even the best of counselors are taught how to recognize their biases and refer clients to others that they cannot counsel due to counter transference. Some Pastors will say they have the best interest of the familiy in mind but it isn't possible for them to separate the needs of the church from the needs of the family - especially when it affects the running of the church.

Blessing Rhoni