Stay-at-Home Daughters?

[ForeverBlessed]

Originally Posted by Mary Poppins

as I'm reading this blog - she sounds almost exactly like me at 19. Family business, happy in the home cocoon. Also, I did attend some community college but it was never the focus or goal so I never finished a degree program.

I hope for her sake life doesn't throw her any curveballs and she can go fluidly from dad's house to husband.


edited to say that I hope I don't sound depressing in that last post LOL I am VERY glad I did not get married at 18 - the experiences and growth I've had are invaluable and I don't know that I would trade it.

I can totally relate to your earlier post. You are still very young, you should go back to school, even if you are making good money. I think you will be happy you did, even if it is part time. I'm glad you see the good in not getting married young. God will bring someone into your life when you least expect it.

Life sure does have a way of throwing us curve balls.... life just isn't so perfect... husbands are not perfect, kids are not perfect... and most of all.. we can not be perfect. I think that people have to be very disciplined to really make this lifestyle work in today's world. It takes work, and work from both parents with the same goals in mind.

As I read your post, I could relate to your working on the homemaking skills. I spent all my time focusing on two things in High School... Home ec, and business. I took office lab, accounting and things so that I could step right into an office position out of High School. I had no intentions of going to college, I only wanted to be a wife and full time mom. I knew I would eventually get married. So, I took every cooking, sewing and child development class there was to be offered. I used to stand by my dad and watch him cook (he was an awesome cook). I so wanted to be in a home and taking care of my own family someday. My dad was a preacher and stay at home dad. Being a homemaker was my #1 goal in life.

I wanted the beautifully decorated house and white picket fence.. wanted to attend church with my beautifully attired, well behaved children sitting beside their loving parents.

I wanted 6 kids and often joked about a dozen and how I was going to use cloth diapers, breast feed, make my own baby food (all natural for everything) All those outrageous plans made it through my first child only... by the time she was 15 months old, her sister came along and I ditched it all and went to huggies, infamil, and gerber jar food... lord have mercy what in the world was I thinking??? When the second one was 3 months old... I was prego again and wearing myself thin.

I did however start out right and on track with my goals... I went into a political office after High School, had a great time working for Indiana Republicans and was making decent money. I was married at 21, got pregnant at 22 and left my job to become a full time mother. I didn't realize just how much my income paid for though...it was a shocker going to one income.

What I didn't count on, was my ex husband flippin' out 5-6 years into the marriage and the next 6 years being very rocky. I did not count on my perfectionist nature to drive me nearly insane. I went into a state of depression spent 6-7 years on prozac trying to cope with my very broken life that I tried to keep hidden from the outside.

On the good side, I home schooled for a while, and there were also happy times. I will never regret staying home with my girls.... I stayed at home for 12 years... I loved cooking huge meals everyday. Of course, with that, I gained weight..miserable at times.

I returned to the working world after my divorce in 02 when my husband walked away from his family. Today, I am really so thankful for all those business classes and skills... I make decent money with a great company, but not enough to support a family like I want to. It has been a real struggle.

So, at the age of 42... I regret not getting a degree before having kids, I know I need to go back to school to really do anything with my life. My girls are almost grown, and nothing in my life is as I ever pictured it. I don't regret everything as it has made me who I am today, and I like me better than spoiled brattiness that I was.

Still to this day though, nothing makes me happier to take a week off from work... spend my days in my kitchen cooking, cleaning, working in the yard and flowers, sitting on the deck studying my bible and just piddling around the house....wishin' I was a homemaker once again.

As I have attempted to raise these girls of mine on my own, I have stressed that they needed to go to college...(two are still in school) I have told them to forget kids and marriage right now.. you can always have both later on in life. Only one of my girls shows any interest in cooking...none of them want to keep house. In fact, my youngest and oldest state they will hire everything the need done...neither plan to cook or clean in their future. They are now 17, 18 and 19. LOL well... we'll see.