The, eh, stuff that marriages are made of...

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by missourimary

In today's world, there needs to be more than a private commitment. Even years ago, I knew a girl who made a private commitment-to a man in each of about 5 cities!! Since the private commitments weren't legally recognized, she wasn't considered a polygamist, and had convinced herself she wasn't in fornication. However, by her actions, she was edangering herself, the guys she was with, and all of their partners too. She was also creating difficulties for any children that might come from one of the arrangements, due to the need for paternity tests and the legalities of child support.

That was 20 years ago. Those arrangements are much more common now. I have a relative who engaged in such an arrangement. Probably more than one. And I'm from a conservative family. The thing is, if the arrangement isn't legalized and legitimized, if there is ever a split, there will be no protection for either party. Thankfully the law does somewhat protect any children born to the arrangement. There isn't always in cases of divorce, either, and I understand that. But it does present some special problems.

In Bible times, when a man slept with a single woman, he was stuck with her for life. That is not the case in today's society. The law is there to protect the family structure. It doesn't always do a good job of it, but it does help, IMO.

Of course, I'm also very much for pre-nups, and many OPs would have my head for that! Talk it out, put it in writing, decide it all before the vows. It will save a lot of disputes later if it is well discussed beforehand. Not because you might get divorced, but as a written plan for how things will work so that you don't get divorced. Again, JMO

You bring up valid points. With common law marriages, a common law marriage isn't recognized if a member of the couple can be found to have been previously married. In the case of a series of common law marriages, should a divorce proceed, evidence of a prior common law marriage in another state or what have you would nullify the union entirely. I guess the deceived spouse could then sue for damages and reparations in civil court.