It seems that your paradigm is a works paradigm. However it seems that your emphasis is more on OUR works.
We are ALL saved by works. However, we are saved by His work not our works. I understand your paradigm well. I used to subscribe to it. I worked and worked and worked to simply be able to HOPE that it was enough. Because I focused on MY works or discipleship, I was never even sure if I was really going to make it.
Problem: It is NEVER enough! You can live that way if you choose to. I choose not to. I used to and did not have the true joy of the Lord. Not so now! I rejoice in the righteousness of God!