I, for one, did not have a horrible experience in church, in terms of abuse, control, that sort of thing. Not as bad as some, anyway. But I did suffer from depression, which got worse as time went on. All the talk of joy and peace did nothing but add to my despair and guilt: I figured I must have been doing something wrong, since I didn't have much joy or peace.
I looked around and saw nothing but happy people. Talk of miracles nearly every day. But the stories often didn't ring true. And there was often something behind the happy faces; a hint of something deeper, something hidden. Something like what I had. I began to wonder -- do they have the same problem I do? Are they wearing a peace and joy mask, keeping up appearances?
Occasionally, some questions were actually voiced, most often from young people, and the usual answers were given (we don't understand everything, but Jesus will always be there, etc.) may have helped some people, but not me.
Mourn my exit from the faith, if you like, but I consider it a life-saver. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by now, if I hadn't left.
Oh, but if it does work for you, go for it! I fully understand that some people may actually "get it right". If you really do have peace and joy, that's wonderful. (Knee jerk reactions, disbelieving anything contrary to your own experience, are not helpful, IMO, in convincing anyone that you actually are getting it right. )
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty
I, for one, did not have a horrible experience in church, in terms of abuse, control, that sort of thing. Not as bad as some, anyway. But I did suffer from depression, which got worse as time went on. All the talk of joy and peace did nothing but add to my despair and guilt: I figured I must have been doing something wrong, since I didn't have much joy or peace.
I looked around and saw nothing but happy people. Talk of miracles nearly every day. But the stories often didn't ring true. And there was often something behind the happy faces; a hint of something deeper, something hidden. Something like what I had. I began to wonder -- do they have the same problem I do? Are they wearing a peace and joy mask, keeping up appearances?
Occasionally, some questions were actually voiced, most often from young people, and the usual answers were given (we don't understand everything, but Jesus will always be there, etc.) may have helped some people, but not me.
Mourn my exit from the faith, if you like, but I consider it a life-saver. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by now, if I hadn't left.
Oh, but if it does work for you, go for it! I fully understand that some people may actually "get it right". If you really do have peace and joy, that's wonderful. (Knee jerk reactions, disbelieving anything contrary to your own experience, are not helpful, IMO, in convincing anyone that you actually are getting it right. )
We have some folks that left church. They have a lot of joy. The liquid joy in a bottle. ...but hangover commeth in the morning.
I would suggest the person in question to be very cautious of EMDR. I'm guessing that's the rapid eye movement treatment that you mentioned.
As for the rest, I have panic attacks at church and I'm rather a mess the rest of the day. I don't think the diagnosis is too much of a stretch. I've gone back and forth between going regularly and avoiding church over the last several years. I wish there was an easy answer for stuff like this.
Just a question, why would you advise a person be very cautious of EMDR? I'm just curious and gathering information. When it comes to this sort of thing I'm not an expert. Your thoughts are valued.
I know what you mean. I've experienced very similar things. I came from an ultra conservative back ground. We were dangled over Hell over the slightest "infraction" against the "standards", many of which were unbiblical. I've also experienced the mind control games of infallible leadership. Without going too deeply with my experiences there, it was very painful. Sometimes I leave church in a very bad emotional state and have to stay away for several weeks to regain my sense of stability.
Things like this are very difficult. Especially when so many seem to think that church is a beautiful experience for everyone.
Since you have not observed any behavior on my part, you have given me an example of your wild imagination
2 In Romans, it says there is therfore NOW no condemnation for them that are in Christ Jesus. This condemnation comes from the devil and the pulpit is very easy to blame.
Freud was messed up in the head but i will use his daughter and her teachings to cover this using their rationalizations.
A lot of times patients have a problem and they do not have the tools to cope so they transfer plame to others as a coping mechanism.
Since I am a student of cults and false religions, the Scientologists openly claim the Pshicharists are a large source of the problem and are phony in providing solutions
Secular counseling for a large part goes out of business if people repent, learn forgiveness and use the Joy of the Lord for strength instead of endless sessions of psychoanalysis and thearapy which does nothing.
It is possible to have anxiety attacks after losing a pet kitten. People that live long lives often have adaptive behaviors and survive trauma, pain and loss.
Even after a divorce, partners get attacks of hurt when they enter an old fav restaurant, church or place. It burbles up pain to hear certain music.
Coadie, I pray you never experience it. You obviously haven't.
Kinda like schools have a duty to build kids self esteem.
The Jews were slaves in Egypt for 400 years. Where are the lawsuits and social justice zealots?
No one is talking about lawsuits. We're talking about individuals who have experienced a significant degree of spiritual and emotional abuse at the hands of abusive churches and how it effects their spiritual lives and relationship to churches afterwards.
I, for one, did not have a horrible experience in church, in terms of abuse, control, that sort of thing. Not as bad as some, anyway. But I did suffer from depression, which got worse as time went on. All the talk of joy and peace did nothing but add to my despair and guilt: I figured I must have been doing something wrong, since I didn't have much joy or peace.
I looked around and saw nothing but happy people. Talk of miracles nearly every day. But the stories often didn't ring true. And there was often something behind the happy faces; a hint of something deeper, something hidden. Something like what I had. I began to wonder -- do they have the same problem I do? Are they wearing a peace and joy mask, keeping up appearances?
Occasionally, some questions were actually voiced, most often from young people, and the usual answers were given (we don't understand everything, but Jesus will always be there, etc.) may have helped some people, but not me.
Mourn my exit from the faith, if you like, but I consider it a life-saver. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by now, if I hadn't left.
Oh, but if it does work for you, go for it! I fully understand that some people may actually "get it right". If you really do have peace and joy, that's wonderful. (Knee jerk reactions, disbelieving anything contrary to your own experience, are not helpful, IMO, in convincing anyone that you actually are getting it right. )
We have some folks that left church. They have a lot of joy. The liquid joy in a bottle. ...but hangover commeth in the morning.
Coadie, we're not talking about people who left because they were preached a biblical standard. We're talking about spiritually and emotionally abusive leadership that devastates many people and their families.
How do we handle individuals who simply can't deal with the emotional trauma of "church" after such situations? Now, I have a house church bent here. I talk to people who break down with tears and sobbing about what's happened to them. Sometimes I'm shocked that they were affected so deeply over some things... but for that sincere true believer, being condemned over something trivial is very painful. When one's life, hopes, dreams, and identity is wrapped up in the church and that church has used, abused, exploited, or manipulated them... they experience severe emotional pain.
EMDR - is used to replace a tramatic event in one's life (in your brain/thoughts). You are asked to think of a "safe" place you can go to in your mind (big fluffy chair that makes you feel safe and cozy) or whatever. Then they begin the therapy by causing your eyes to go back and forth - which "opens files" in your brain of the bad experience and you are signaled to replace that file with your "safe" place.
The problem is that if might not work and you open even deeper or more disturbing tramatic events.
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Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
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