A Fallen one who needs help

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by fallen

I know its me at times, saying Lord, I know this is the path, but for right now I'm going this way. I'm as stubborn as a bull. And a lot of times I know its my own fault.

my thing is, I'm afraid, when I reach that point, that God will turn a blind eye and make ignorant from the truth.

But do not question me about my faith and love about God. I know he's real, I know he's there.

I hope this does not offend you but it sounds like you don't have a problem that can be fixed by any other way other than when you decide you are going to not go that way but Go God's way.

[fallen]

Haha no, totally. I understand that, I'm just so impatient. I'm 26yrs old. And I don't know what to do with my life.

I see guys with backpack, knowing they wander and "walking the earth" And a Part of me, wants to do that. I wanna wander and "walk the earth" like them. Sometimes I wonder, if that is what God is really calling me to do. Travel/walk and teach his word

[stony ground]

Originally Posted by fallen

Yes, I've talked about the whole, "hippie" love thing. I didn't do the "sinner" prayer. I come from a church, where you get on your knees, not because your weak, but to become stronger.

For a whole year when I was 8 my family and church pray for me. When I turned 9, I was on my own, just praying, really praying to God. And I spoke in tongues, and the way I felt...wow. just wow.

I don't ever question, my love for God, I know what I feel is real. If your asking if I'm "backsiding" I really can't see. I have not yet turned my back on God, when people ask me about my God, I am not ashamed or hold my tongue. Yes, I get into arguments with God, I'm still human, I don't get his plans for me at times.

I know its me at times, saying Lord, I know this is the path, but for right now I'm going this way. I'm as stubborn as a bull. And a lot of times I know its my own fault.

my thing is, I'm afraid, when I reach that point, that God will turn a blind eye and make ignorant from the truth.

But do not question me about my faith and love about God. I know he's real, I know he's there.

My particular weaknesses of the flesh are different, but otherwise you are telling my story too. I can't really lay any words of wisdom on you that you probably don't already know. Just know that God doesn't love us because, He loves us anyway. God loves you, and so do His people.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

I hope this does not offend you but it sounds like you don't have a problem that can be fixed by any other way other than when you decide you are going to not go that way but Go God's way.

This is sorta the point I was trying to make. All of the scriptures being thrown at you talking about "overcoming" will do squat until you decide to change, especially when it comes to a single in his (or her -but usually his) 20-something who faces a distinct lack of other singles. It will come through sheer force of will or as a result of the inevitable consequences of the lifestyle.

I do think there are other more interesting issues here though such as the lack of single females in that age group who are not part of the "in" PK crowd. As a teen in the UPC I found the separation between the cool kids and also-rans was even greater than in high school, made worse by the fact that I felt it shouldn't be that way, especially in "the church". Seeing this was one more big domino that fell on my road to leaving apostolica.

[fallen]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

This is sorta the point I was trying to make. All of the scriptures being thrown at you talking about "overcoming" will do squat until you decide to change, especially when it comes to a single in his (or her -but usually his) 20's who faces a distinct lack of other singles. It will come through sheer force of will or as a result of the inevitable consequences of the lifestyle.

Exactly, Its like the UCPI, your either married by 18 or otherwise, if your an young adult in your mid 20s - early 30s your kinda (sorry for lack of better word) Screwed. There's programs for kids, teens and young in marriage, but what about us in the college years? where is there programs or guidance for us. Its like, if we should "fall" between 18-25, there's no help until we are way past 30. I don't wanna be "backslided" until I'm 30 because people can't comprehended or understand me. You know, pssh, Teenage years are a breeze.

But if your single and in your 20s, your at that age, where your figuring yourself out, and know what you want in a partner but its like, you can only find that outside the church, and its not fair.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by fallen

Exactly, Its like the UCPI, your either married by 18 or otherwise, if your an young adult in your mid 20s - early 30s your kinda (sorry for lack of better word) Screwed. There's programs for kids, teens and young in marriage, but what about us in the college years? where is there programs or guidance for us. Its like, if we should "fall" between 18-25, there's no help until we are way past 30. I don't wanna be "backslided" until I'm 30 because people can't comprehended or understand me. You know, pssh, Teenage years are a breeze.

But if your single and in your 20s, your at that age, where your figuring yourself out, and know what you want in a partner but its like, you can only find that outside the church, and its not fair.

I fully believe that a couple should be 'equally yoked', but there is much disagreement on what that means exactly and how far it needs to be taken. I have seen everything from people only being allowed to date others in their own church (as in building) to someone else as long as it was in the same organization, to someone else as long as they were a Christian -which is the camp I fall in. For the first, and most extreme group, it led to a comedy of round-robin style dating as everyone "liked" someone else every few weeks eventually coming around again full circle. It felt like Junior High!

It also leads to a culture where those in their 20's are made to feel like they are teens barely old enough to drive as far as all the pastoral restrictions placed on their lives.