you obviously have never lived through this. I am sure there are some fathers who are held accountible through the system. I can give you a total different story and many others I know... I know countless single mothers that have to fight for every dime they get and most of their ex's money is hid through/with girlfriends or new wives.
My ex husband spent 1 year in work release center for non child support... our county is considered one of the toughest counties in this State on Child Support... I have proof of every support payment ever paid... less than $4K of child support on three kids over the last six years. The County let him live in a work release facility and pay me only $20 a week while he faithfully supported and put a roof over his girlfriend.. while she sat at home doing nothing.
You really have absolutely no clue... and no, he wasn't underground. The majority of the last six years, he has lived within a mile of me... except for the times he's been incarcerated.
You know I am with you on this one I can say that many times it is only one side you here and in all fairness both should be heard to bring a balance.
you obviously have never lived through this. I am sure there are some fathers who are held accountible through the system. I can give you a total different story and many others I know... I know countless single mothers that have to fight for every dime they get and most of their ex's money is hid through/with girlfriends or new wives.
My ex husband spent 1 year in work release center for non child support... our county is considered one of the toughest counties in this State on Child Support... I have proof of every support payment ever paid... less than $4K of child support on three kids over the last six years. The County let him live in a work release facility and pay me only $20 a week while he faithfully supported and put a roof over his girlfriend.. while she sat at home doing nothing.
You really have absolutely no clue... and no, he wasn't underground. The majority of the last six years, he has lived within a mile of me... except for the times he's been incarcerated.
Well I see the point in your case. I mean, the guy got off scot-free, what with only a year in the slammer!
Hey I've said that it doesn't turn out well for the women in every case. The trouble here is that all we have is a few anecdotes, not any data. But I would not call what your ex experienced a lack of favor by the court. He was obviously ordered to pay an onerous amount of child support. When he decided to forfeit compliance, he forfeited freedom because the enforcement was not taken lightly. The justice system did not turn its back on you in your time of need. You are in the unenviable position of experiencing the collision of your expectations with his irresponsibility.
My heart goes out to you. Keep the faith.
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Well I see the point in your case. I mean, the guy got off scot-free, what with only a year in the slammer!
Hey I've said that it doesn't turn out well for the women in every case. The trouble here is that all we have is a few anecdotes, not any data. But I would not call what your ex experienced a lack of favor by the court. He was obviously ordered to pay an onerous amount of child support. When he decided to forfeit compliance, he forfeited freedom because the enforcement was not taken lightly. The justice system did not turn its back on you in your time of need. You are in the unenviable position of experiencing the collision of your expectations with his irresponsibility.
My heart goes out to you. Keep the faith.
The "slammer" was the newly built work release center 1 block from my house... he had to be in by 8p.m. and was let out at 6am.. he spent part of that time at home... he basically just slept there... whew..tough system. He worked for my brother in law making the very least $800 a week bring home pay.. I saw the pay stubs.
$200 a week for three kids... 10,11 and 12 at the time.... not onerous... I received the majority of child support during the six months that he attempted to get back in church. My ex has spent most of his money on drugs over the last six years.. a habit that has put him behind bars (real prison) for possibly the rest of his life for car theft and robbing six banks.
I didn't sue him for child support, the govt did... they had to provide me with food help until I was able to get a job where I didn't have to depend on the goverment for help.
Now, sometime later... his new wife divorced him... she is long gone. I send him money every month... People think I am crazy... but there is absolutely no one who has anything to do with him. He might not have treated his family right, but I could never treat him the same way.
Actually I believe recent research has shown that women are more prone to commit adultery than men.
I read one study that says 50% of married women cheat. I find that hard to beleive. Perhaps the survey was done in the godless NorthEast USA or California!!!!
Actually I believe recent research has shown that women are more prone to commit adultery than men.
I read one study that says 50% of married women cheat. I find that hard to beleive. Perhaps the survey was done in the godless NorthEast USA or California!!!!
CC1, Your statistics are a bit off: I'll have to check my past stats but the % was more (92% men and only 8% women). The reasons and circumstances were much different. From the study I did in 1994 [a bit old] women usually give subtle hints to the husband hoping to change things for years and sometimes decade. Women need emotional attachment and if the emotional attachment is denied them by the spouse they turn to another for affirmation. Men are totally clueless until the woman gives up and says...you know what - it is over and then does something to signify the end. Men were more prone to being impluse driven and reacting to physical attraction and a woman who flatters them. They still love their wives but think one has nothing to do with the other...until the shoe is on the other foot.
Wives that cheat on their husbands are now a statistical dead heat.
One study in Germany found that married women were slightly more likely to cheat on their spouse.
The most disturbing find: That the cheating wife was more likely to have a longer affair and less likely to ever tell her husband. This has been one of the most dramatic social shift paradigms in modern times IMHO.
There are many reasons/explanations given. Most of which would go beyond a simple post.
But this thread has taken some twists and turns. Perhaps it would be best to spawn off a couple new ones?
CC1, Your statistics are a bit off: I'll have to check my past stats but the % was more (92% men and only 8% women). The reasons and circumstances were much different. From the study I did in 1994 [a bit old] women usually give subtle hints to the husband hoping to change things for years and sometimes decade. Women need emotional attachment and if the emotional attachment is denied them by the spouse they turn to another for affirmation. Men are totally clueless until the woman gives up and says...you know what - it is over and then does something to signify the end. Men were more prone to being impluse driven and reacting to physical attraction and a woman who flatters them. They still love their wives but think one has nothing to do with the other...until the shoe is on the other foot.
Blessings, Rhoni
just to be clear, you are saying that in the mid 1990's 92% of married men cheated and 8% of married women cheated?
is that what you are saying?
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Since more than 50% of first mariages end in divorce and an even higher percentage of 2nd marriages...chances are, Apostolic or not...the woman will be raising them by herself.
Just thought I'd add my $.02 since I have so many avid fans on this particular thread!
Blessings, Rhoni
I would like to chime in on this thread, particularly this part of this post.
I think it is quite sad that divorce has become an option among apostolics. When I was married to my one and only wife some 20 years ago, I said "til death do us part", and I meant it. Now it has not been easy. We have lived through many troubled times. Jobs and no jobs. Hurt backs. Nervous breakdowns. Loosing everything and going bankrupt. My wife not working so she could homeschool our 3 kids (my oldest son just finished his first term in college with a 3.6 average). We have wept together. We have laughed together. But we have stayed together because there was not an option for anything else. Through all these trials and great tribulations, we love each other more than ever, simply because we choose to.
I understand that it was a 2 way street for my wife and I. We both were willing to walk this path together, and will continue to do so. I feel sad for those that had a spouse that chose to leave. But I refuse to raise my kids any other way than that marriage is for life.
I would like to chime in on this thread, particularly this part of this post.
I think it is quite sad that divorce has become an option among apostolics. When I was married to my one and only wife some 20 years ago, I said "til death do us part", and I meant it. Now it has not been easy. We have lived through many troubled times. Jobs and no jobs. Hurt backs. Nervous breakdowns. Loosing everything and going bankrupt. My wife not working so she could homeschool our 3 kids (my oldest son just finished his first term in college with a 3.6 average). We have wept together. We have laughed together. But we have stayed together because there was not an option for anything else. Through all these trials and great tribulations, we love each other more than ever, simply because we choose to.
I understand that it was a 2 way street for my wife and I. We both were willing to walk this path together, and will continue to do so. I feel sad for those that had a spouse that chose to leave. But I refuse to raise my kids any other way than that marriage is for life.
I have the utmost respect for those who keep their commitments to God and each other. Thank-you for being a good example of how it should be done God's way.
I would like to chime in on this thread, particularly this part of this post.
I think it is quite sad that divorce has become an option among apostolics. When I was married to my one and only wife some 20 years ago, I said "til death do us part", and I meant it. Now it has not been easy. We have lived through many troubled times. Jobs and no jobs. Hurt backs. Nervous breakdowns. Loosing everything and going bankrupt. My wife not working so she could homeschool our 3 kids (my oldest son just finished his first term in college with a 3.6 average). We have wept together. We have laughed together. But we have stayed together because there was not an option for anything else. Through all these trials and great tribulations, we love each other more than ever, simply because we choose to.
I understand that it was a 2 way street for my wife and I. We both were willing to walk this path together, and will continue to do so. I feel sad for those that had a spouse that chose to leave. But I refuse to raise my kids any other way than that marriage is for life.
Great Post St Matt!
__________________ "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
You know I am with you on this one
I can say that many times it is only one side you here and in all fairness both should be heard to bring a balance.
Just thought I'd add my $.02 since I have so many avid fans on this particular thread!
). We have wept together. We have laughed together. But we have stayed together because there was not an option for anything else. Through all these trials and great tribulations, we love each other more than ever, simply because we choose to.
Hybrid Mode
