There was a point and time in my younger years where I realized that my dad was too damaged emotionally to give me what I was looking for. I accepted that or tried to and stopped looking for it just with the realization that it wasn't going to happen and in the same breath I realized that I was in danger of trying to find surrogate father figures to take his place so I tried to guard against that as well.
I feel that affirmation is one of those pivotal points in a persons growth that if not reached they can spend the rest of their life trying to find.
My father is a broken man and he raised a broken son but I have a Savior that mends broken hearts.
I have to constantly visit Him time and time again holding shattered pieces of myself like a child with a broken toy and allow Him to put me back together.
My father cant give me what I need but my Heavenly Father can.
I love my dad but its hard finding that relationship balance where I don't expect more from him than he can provide.
I still reflexively reach out and try to connect even though a part of me says that I will regret it.
I guess I keep doing it in hopes of one day I'll break through and out of fear of totally giving up and walling him off or drifting away.
its interesting that I had a conversation yesterday with a friend from church. His father is deaf, and he told me the his father never had a conversation with his grandfather. none. my friend would interpret between his dad and his dads mom but between his dad and his dads dad, nothing.
I wish there were answer bro, but in the end this is a great common mystery. The best we can do is strive to b e better. with our kids. and at some point, about the time they have kids, have a conversation with them about this very subject so they don't fall in the same trap.
I am sorry for your pain. God is the very best answer.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Pentecost has failed in many ways because of many of the old timers that bought into the jargon of "Revival at any cost!" They have paid with their children, with their families, with their health and etc. They have built crowds and lost their children. Not good.
sometimes they didn't even build crowds.
good words Monterrey.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
I was raised by an alcoholic father and a bipolar mother. I have Asperger's so I have problems with eye contact, problems with social connections
I was born again into the fire of a revival church, our pastor preached prayer, fasting and soul winning. It was all about soul winning.
I began to ask God to use me to win souls, with my problems connecting to people it would seem unlikely that I could be used for anything, but God is well able.
A man at work walked up to me one day and asked me where I went to church, I invited him to come, taught him and his family bible Studies and they came, and were filled with the HG and baptized. He brought all his friends to me to teach them bible studies till there were 45 people added to the church in a matter of months.
One time I was driving was the grocery store and God said to stop and witness to someone inside, I found an elderly man in the one of the aisles and God said that he was the one. he also came and got the HG and was baptized.
There is a woman I met who was a stripper, God delivered her and she is a wonderful saint of God today, beautiful woman, her family is in church.
Alcoholic man I met, God delivered him from alcohol and he is in a leadership position and a great soul winner in his church today.
My Mom was filled with the HG and baptized and is waiting for me on the other side. Before she died, she told me that she loved me, something I never heard when I was a child.
That's an amazing encouragement!
__________________
Blessed are the merciful for they SHALL obtain mercy.
I was raised by an alcoholic father and a bipolar mother. I have Asperger's so I have problems with eye contact, problems with social connections
I was born again into the fire of a revival church, our pastor preached prayer, fasting and soul winning. It was all about soul winning.
I began to ask God to use me to win souls, with my problems connecting to people it would seem unlikely that I could be used for anything, but God is well able.
A man at work walked up to me one day and asked me where I went to church, I invited him to come, taught him and his family bible Studies and they came, and were filled with the HG and baptized. He brought all his friends to me to teach them bible studies till there were 45 people added to the church in a matter of months.
One time I was driving was the grocery store and God said to stop and witness to someone inside, I found an elderly man in the one of the aisles and God said that he was the one. he also came and got the HG and was baptized.
There is a woman I met who was a stripper, God delivered her and she is a wonderful saint of God today, beautiful woman, her family is in church.
Alcoholic man I met, God delivered him from alcohol and he is in a leadership position and a great soul winner in his church today.
My Mom was filled with the HG and baptized and is waiting for me on the other side. Before she died, she told me that she loved me, something I never heard when I was a child.
What I found out was this. Bro Benincasa can attest to this with my situation. LOL
With your parents they will have trouble ever seeing you more than the kid in diapers or the kid who messed up and backslid.
Humanity has a hard time forgiving and moving on, thus our need for the Spirit of God. He has that ability.
Jesus spoke it and said that a prophet was not without respect or honor except in his own house. How true again.
This is that hardest thing that I had to learn dealing with my children. I grew up not hearing positive affirmation, I heard plenty of the negative.
When I finally got married and moved into the ministry it continued. It didn't matter if I preached a revival where 15 got the Holy Ghost, my parents could not say anything positive. That hurt. But I learned to find confidence in the Spirit of God.
I also had wise counsel that told me to remember the commandment and honor them. That commandment is without caveat or exemption. So I do, constantly. Regardless of their behavior I must watch my behavior.
I then decided that I would, by choice, change my attitude towards my children. I constantly tell them I am proud of them for their achievements, what ever they might be. I tend to ignore a lot of the negative because I know that they will change over time as I have changed.
It has built a great relationship with my children that I don't regret. Even today I have two of my adult children that I can't chase away from my house, they love being with us and love their family.
Pentecost has failed in many ways because of many of the old timers that bought into the jargon of "Revival at any cost!" They have paid with their children, with their families, with their health and etc. They have built crowds and lost their children. Not good.
What I found out was this. Bro Benincasa can attest to this with my situation. LOL
With your parents they will have trouble ever seeing you more than the kid in diapers or the kid who messed up and backslid.
Humanity has a hard time forgiving and moving on, thus our need for the Spirit of God. He has that ability.
Jesus spoke it and said that a prophet was not without respect or honor except in his own house. How true again.
This is that hardest thing that I had to learn dealing with my children. I grew up not hearing positive affirmation, I heard plenty of the negative.
When I finally got married and moved into the ministry it continued. It didn't matter if I preached a revival where 15 got the Holy Ghost, my parents could not say anything positive. That hurt. But I learned to find confidence in the Spirit of God.
I also had wise counsel that told me to remember the commandment and honor them. That commandment is without caveat or exemption. So I do, constantly. Regardless of their behavior I must watch my behavior.
I then decided that I would, by choice, change my attitude towards my children. I constantly tell them I am proud of them for their achievements, what ever they might be. I tend to ignore a lot of the negative because I know that they will change over time as I have changed.
It has built a great relationship with my children that I don't regret. Even today I have two of my adult children that I can't chase away from my house, they love being with us and love their family.
Pentecost has failed in many ways because of many of the old timers that bought into the jargon of "Revival at any cost!" They have paid with their children, with their families, with their health and etc. They have built crowds and lost their children. Not good.
__________________ "all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."
~Declaration of Independence
Jediwill83, be encouraged. Even Jesus felt this frustration:
Mark 6:1-6 (ESV)
He went away from there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. 2 And on the Sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him? How are such mighty works done by his hands? 3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. 4 And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.” 5 And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And he marveled because of their unbelief.
And he went about among the villages teaching.
Sometimes familiarity can hinder people from experiencing or seeing what God is showing us or doing with us. I'd just move on and minister to others. As your father increasingly sees and hears what God is doing and saying through you from the lips of others... he might come around.
Linear Mode
