Quote:
Originally Posted by The Matt
Your inclination is right. When I told the doctor my mind was on overdrive, and her solution was to up my adderall, I knew I had to help myself. I may have spoke wrong when I said wean, as it was more like, "OK today is the day I stop adderall" and I stopped that day, one medicine at a time.
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Before I start with my story, which is similar to yours, let me say if you were for sure, 100%, diagnosed as bi-polar then consult with your pastor and a specialist (a Christian one if you can find one) before you come off the meds treating that. I am not bi-polar, but a step-uncle was bi-polar and manic and between constantly changing meds, trying to cope with life and trying to adjust his own medication he ended up hanging himself.
Okay, my story. In early 2010, I was in a very similar situation. I hated my job, one I couldn't leave due to my wife being pregnant. I was depressed off and on, I'd had panic attacks. I was on Concerta for ADHD and some other drug as a mood relaxer. I got off the mood relaxer after a month because it numbed me even more. I hated myself, but suicide wasn't an option, though the enemy took advantage of my situation. To make matters worse I wasn't going to church (running from my calling). I wasn't out doing a bunch of crazy stuff, didn't have doctrine issues - I didn't do what a lot of people do when they quit going to church. Wife didn't cut her hair and wear makeup, etc. Our daughter was going to be raised the way we believed.
After a month of the mood relaxer I quit. It didn't help, I felt. Eventually I lost my job, while my wife was on maternity leave - the day after I told them my wife was going to have a C-Section the next week. Eventually (this past January I think) I completely quit all the ADHD meds. I only got a scrip at her behest, thinking it might help with my job at that time. I took my last one in January or February. It was a waste of my money.
In the end, what I needed was to quit running from God (not saying that's what your problem is) and get more sleep. It was a process, but I buried myself in scripture (see below) and prayer. I prayed until I had a breakthrough and my spirit was healed from all lingering depression. I added fasting to my prayer (which I don't recommend if your meds/job don't allow it - modify your fast if you do it) and it helped immensely. I confessed all unforgiveness and sin in my life, repented of my ways, claimed scripture over my life and prayed until I broke through the dark curtain over my mind and spirit. I'm at a better, higher paying job (for now - see Hostess, lol)
That's my advice to you, deepen your walk with Him. Submerse yourself in His Spirit and don't come up until you are healed & delivered or it's time to go to bed. Keep doing it. Don't ever quit. Make your walk with Jesus Christ your life, your breath. Get rid of all things that won't/doesn't please Him. If it isn't uplifting, don't watch/read/listen to it (See Phil 4:8). As a married man, if it doesn't please my wife, I don't involve myself with it. The communication remains open, trust is there. Same in walking with Christ. The most amazing things will happen in your life. Also, if possible, find someone in your local church or someone you can call regularly (everyday if need be) to help you along. We can't make it on our own. We need each other. If you do the above things I promise you God will bring you out of the other side of the tunnel.
Scriptures to remember
Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Is 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Ps 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
Nehemiah 8:10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Is 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Ps 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
I Cor 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
2 Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
Romans 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
These are but a few of the scriptures that will help. If there is anything else I can do let me know I will be praying. God bless!
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