Today, I Saw One of the Most Horrifying things.
I saw the vengeance of God in action.
For months I have been praying and begging God to help me overcome some horrible personal wrongs that had befallen me. I have been asking God to remove the hurt, bitterness and anger I felt toward those who reached out a hand in an attempt to destroy me and silence a quiet truth of religious abuse that I had come to know.
I had attempted (in a subtle way) to make a religious power aware of an abuse that was hurting an institution, only to be silenced in an attempt to cover the situation up. After I attempted to help, I became a target of retribution by a few who wanted to protect their personal kingdoms.
Today I saw God intervene. And in a way that both awed and terrified me. I saw God bring to rubble the kingdom of a man who sought to steal the vengeance of the Lord.
What to say?
For months my emotions have vascillated wildly between mercy and hatred.
Such an intense inner struggle.
I would have thought that there would be some glee as the wicked received just desserts. Instead, I am left sobbing and broken.
Dear God, please help me to have a spirit of mercy!
Dear God, please be merciful to those who hurt me!
Dear God, help me to have a clean heart and a right spirit!
I am left to ponder the words of
Hebrews 10:31...
"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."
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