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Thread Jewels From The Past
I was looking in the Fellowship Hall Archives and found this and thought it might be fun to post some Threads from the past! What do you think?
Posted by IAin'tMovin on 2-15-07
This is Dog Funny.................
I dont remember if Dan ever posted this on NFCF, but he posted it over on another forum and it is totally dog funny in my book......here it is.
Here goes!
Recently, I had a funeral that required the use of our local "honor guard". They perform the taps and the 21 gun salute at military funerals.
Bless their hearts...they are older guys...half of them cant get the guns up so they shoot from the hip.!
Anyways...I have told these guys to please make sure when they set up before my arrival to make sure they stand in a way that they are not aiming at the family!
A couple of weeks ago I had the honor to bury Mr. Verdin. He was 104 and was a WW1 Veteran. He had a sharp mind...often I would sit in the barber shop and talk things like the "Titanic". Amzing man.
Well...there we were under the tent....beautiful day....flag flying....67 grand children including greats and great greats.
Father Danny was going on and on and on....Mrs Verdin (94) falls sound asleep and is snoring and slumped over in her chair.
Of course I am supposed to be the picture of all that is solid.....
Well.....it comes time to fire the guns........"Ready.....aim....fire"!
When they shot the first volley....it scared Mrs Verdin so bad she slid out of her chair and hit the ground. And to my HOROR...her 8 year old great great grandson screams at the top of his little lungs...."...BEEP.... THEY DONE SHOT GRANDMA!"
Well. by now I am laughing so hard I am about to completely lose all composure.
Does it stop there? NO!
They fire the second volley..."BAM" the boys runs towards them screaming "STOP SHOOTING YOU ....BEEP..... are you trying to kill us all"!
By now me and the entire family are dying laughing....the honor guard has NO idea of what is going on...
I had tears running down my face trying so hard not to lose it while trying to fold the flag and present it to the family!
Oh my the things that happen in funerals.
Been Thinkin
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"From the time you're born, 'til you ride in the hearse, there ain't nothing bad that couldn't be worse!"
LIFE: Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant! 
I have ... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! The fear of long words.
"Prediction is very hard, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave in reflection." - Thomas Paine
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