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02-07-2011, 07:30 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,206
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You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Just wondering if there might be any Rednecks on AFF. If so how would you identify them?
Okay....Here's one. "You might be an AFF Redneck if you believe Elder Epley agrees with everyone on this forum!"
Been Thinkin
__________________
"From the time you're born, 'til you ride in the hearse, there ain't nothing bad that couldn't be worse!"
LIFE: Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant! 
I have ... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! The fear of long words.
"Prediction is very hard, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave in reflection." - Thomas Paine
Last edited by BeenThinkin; 02-07-2011 at 07:42 PM.
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02-08-2011, 03:26 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,270
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
If you have more cars in your yard, then teeth in your mouth ,you might be a redneck.
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02-08-2011, 08:55 AM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeenThinkin
Just wondering if there might be any Rednecks on AFF. If so how would you identify them?
Okay....Here's one. "You might be an AFF Redneck if you believe Elder Epley agrees with everyone on this forum!"
Been Thinkin
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Are you calling rednecks stupid?
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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02-08-2011, 09:23 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 16,746
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Mmmm... Normally I am pretty good at this except I am finding that the concept of "AFF Redneck" doesn't lend itself to particularly good humor.
Now if we were to come up with EA Redneck (Everyone's Apostolic) jokes, they practically write themselves!
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02-08-2011, 02:20 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North of the Rio Grande
Posts: 2,822
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeenThinkin
Just wondering if there might be any Rednecks on AFF. If so how would you identify them?
Okay....Here's one. "You might be an AFF Redneck if you believe Elder Epley agrees with everyone on this forum!"
Been Thinkin
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Now that's as wrong as two boys kissin!
__________________
WHO IS BREXIT AND IS HE A TRINITARIAN?- James LeDeay 10/30/16
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02-08-2011, 03:34 PM
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Jesus' Name Pentecostal
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: near Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 17,805
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Your church could be considered a redneck church if......
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to lift (help in receiving) the offering", five guys and two women stand up.
You know a sista who got her hair caught in a ceiling fan.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of,"
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
They are known as "water dogs" because they baptize by immersion.
Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
Some of the bruthas and sistas bring a spit cup with them to church.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding."
The water is really dirty after footwashing.
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
High notes on the organ set the dogs to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized livestock watering trough.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
__________________
Sam also known as Jim Ellis
Apostolic in doctrine
Pentecostal in experience
Charismatic in practice
Non-denominational in affiliation
Inter-denominational in fellowship
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02-08-2011, 08:29 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,206
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Come on! You AFFers seem to be afraid to step out and "partake!"
You might be an "AFF Redneck" if you think Miss Brattified doesn't have an opinion about anything.
You might be an "AFF Redneck" if you think that "NOW" is the kindest and easiest AFFer to get along with! (Wait and see!!!!) 
You might be an "AFF Redneck" if you think DAII has no "bone to pick" with anyone!
Come on...help me out. I don't want to be the only one "in trouble" on AFF.
Been Thinkin
__________________
"From the time you're born, 'til you ride in the hearse, there ain't nothing bad that couldn't be worse!"
LIFE: Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant!
I have ... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! The fear of long words.
"Prediction is very hard, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave in reflection." - Thomas Paine
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02-08-2011, 08:34 PM
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Not riding the train
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
You might be a Redneck if you think Cindy won't whop you upside the head! 
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02-08-2011, 08:42 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pressing-On
You might be a Redneck if you think Cindy won't whop you upside the head! |
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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02-08-2011, 08:43 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: You might be an AFF Redneck if.......
I think some of y'all might be rednecks in disguise.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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