Pregnant at 16 by her pastor!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

This brings up another point, can anyone explain to me why a women would stay with a man who has abused children? I have never understood this phenomenon, it boggles my mind.

I understand forgiveness, but there is a difference between forgiveness and staying with a predator.

I just don't get it.

We pastored a woman whose ex-husband was a child molestor (he molested their daugher for years) I think she just about lost her mind over the whole thing--but she still wanted to be with him---she was angry at him and still loved him! I didnt get it either.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

We pastored a woman whose ex-husband was a child molestor (he molested their daugher for years) I think she just about lost her mind over the whole thing--but she still wanted to be with him---she was angry at him and still loved him! I didnt get it either.

I'll never understand mothers who love themselves more than their own children. That is pure selfishness and very sick. *gag*

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I'll never understand mothers who love themselves more than their own children. That is pure selfishness and very sick. *gag*

Good words!

That goes for Dads too!!!! No body should love themselves more than they love their kids!!! That is the bottom line cause JTullock says so.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Sis., I understand what you are saying, but the reason that we have generation after generation of abused children is because for so long, no one would talk about this topic. The only way to fight it is to make people aware. Yes, people can become jaded or lose their trust, but if it causes them to be more protective of their children, then I feel it is worth it.

I'm not saying to name names or spread gossip, but as far as I know, no one knows who this person who wrote "Dear Abby" Is. To talk about it in the abstract is not harmful, it is making people more aware of the dangers our children face every where.

We should be vigilent with the safety of our children no matter who they are with or where they are at.

But I do understand your distress, it is an ugly, ugly topic.

Just want to say: AMEN!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I'll never understand mothers who love themselves more than their own children. That is pure selfishness and very sick. *gag*

She had real problems, and there wasnt anything anyone could say to her. It was very tragic. She was very angry over what happened to her daughter, and I think that is why she left him in the first place. But then she would have these moments of still wishing the marriage worked out.

It was too weird and I agree *gag*

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Sis., I understand what you are saying, but the reason that we have generation after generation of abused children is because for so long, no one would talk about this topic. The only way to fight it is to make people aware. Yes, people can become jaded or lose their trust, but if it causes them to be more protective of their children, then I feel it is worth it.

I'm not saying to name names or spread gossip, but as far as I know, no one knows who this person who wrote "Dear Abby" Is. To talk about it in the abstract is not harmful, it is making people more aware of the dangers our children face every where.

We should be vigilent with the safety of our children no matter who they are with or where they are at.

But I do understand your distress, it is an ugly, ugly topic.

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you on this. I think it's IMPERATIVE that people talk about abuse comfortably & openly; especially parents... especially to and around our children. Children suffer in silence because of fear - because of being afraid to discuss the unmentionable words/subjects that are never talked about. If children knew that they could go to their parents and speak aloud the dreaded words "sex," "penis," and all the other "bad" words, without their parents *gasping*, then abuse could be stopped early rather than the child having to continue suffering in silence.

Originally Posted by Subdued

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you on this. I think it's IMPERATIVE that people talk about abuse comfortably & openly; especially parents... especially to and around our children. Children suffer in silence because of fear - because of being afraid to discuss the unmentionable words/subjects that are never talked about. If children knew that they could go to their parents and speak aloud the dreaded words "sex," "penis," and all the other "bad" words, without their parents *gasping*, then abuse could be stopped early rather than the child having to continue suffering in silence.

I am not talking about not educating our children about life and the perils that they must watch out for. I am all for having an open door policy to our children to discuss things such as the things they should know and be aware of. A parent that spends time with their children will get to know their child and be able to watch for signs that are warning lights. There is way to little parent/child quality time going on.
I am talking about the tabloid type news that seems to gain so much interest, with others chiming in about their experiences.
Take it to God in prayer. He has the answer to EVERY problem. He knows what we go thru He created us!

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I am not talking about not educating our children about life and the perils that they must watch out for. I am all for having an open door policy to our children to discuss things such as the things they should know and be aware of. A parent that spends time with their children will get to know their child and be able to watch for signs that are warning lights. There is way to little parent/child quality time going on.
I am talking about the tabloid type news that seems to gain so much interest, with others chiming in about their experiences.
Take it to God in prayer. He has the answer to EVERY problem. He knows what we go thru He created us!

So we should tell our kids it's okay to talk to us about these issues, but we shouldn't talk to other adults about the same? I disagree.

I'm not saying that's all we (adults) should talk about -- but I think parents should feel comfortable discussing these types of subjects/issues, with other parents, in front of/around our children. Kids should SEE that their parents really are open to having these types of discussions. They should see & hear that we can handle such discussions. If it's never discussed, or only talked about privately, quietly, & kept hush-hush, believe me, our kids will get the message that it shouldn't be brought up.

Edited to add: Yes, of course, we should take it to God in prayer [as well]. I agree.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

Well, I don't think I have become more tolerant of it personally, every time I find out something that I really would rather not know, I die a little inside.

But I don't think it has gotten worse really, I think it is just more visible because finally people are doing something about it and not turning a blind eye.

Two of my best friends growing up were molested as children, in both cases nothing was done to the perpetrators, it was hushed up by the families. These were church people.

Both of those girls has suffered long term consequences of the molestations and even more, the pain of nobody doing anything about it.

Both have had many, many problems in their lives that stem back to this.

I have to believe (well, I know) that if two of my closest friends lived this, there were many more unheard victims.

As far as the Lanny Wolfe thing, I don't have any answers to that. Has it been established that he ever admitted to anything? If not, I guess it would be up to the individual churches who are using him to make a decision about what they believe about him. I don't know what to say about it.