Bringing up boys

[shag]

Originally Posted by shag

Actually, my wife just informed me that the boy that got punched was only 10-11, and the boy which is a bully, that punched him is 15 yrs old, but the younger kid is good size, and does outweigh the older. So in an instance like that, should he (1)have physically tried to fight back even tho it was only 1 punch, or should he (2)only have fought back if it had been an ongoing situation of continued endangerment, like the bully would not let up?

Im thinking maybe option #1 might not be a good option, as it could be considered an "an eye for an eye", yet option # 2 could be excusable. Just my thoughts, maybe they're off.
No doubt, noone wants their kids to get bullied around.

[The Mrs]

Originally Posted by shag

the story behind me posting this thread is this...

Last night after church service, I was talking to a good friend that I went to HS with, neither of us were Christians back then. I also had Tae-Kwon-DO classes with the guy back then. He was a black belt 2nd degree then(20 yr's ago), I believe(& his wife was too-BTW!). He got into a few scraps in school, and no doubt held his own as I remember. And to this day is very strong and athletic. Well...why we were talking, in thru the door comes his 13-14 year old son cryin up a storm cause some kid(a lttle older and a bully) had punched him in the stomach. When I was pulling out of the parking lot, my friend had that other kid cornered and was still talking to him 5-10 min.'s later. Now I know he wanted to slap that kid upside the head, but didnt. Yet, I came home wondering what all he told his son. See, his son is nothing at all like him, in the way of being fit, but rather he is very shy and also very overweight, hooked on video games and such. I'm confident he must've explained to his son about defending himself, and not putting up with that junk etc..

I take it most on here are in agreeance in advising the kids...dont start it ever, yet try to be able to defend yourself and even sometimes others, in the appropriate situations if need be. That is how Ive taught my son....he is 13 now.

I want all my kids including my little princess of a daughter, to (with good judgement)physically defend themselves at the appropriate times if needed, to get out of a particular situation ASAP.

Funny what you said Bro. David, about your daughter settling the family scores -LOL

This is why my daughter is also in Tae-kwon-do. She is a test away from 2nd Degree Black Belt. I didn't want her to be defenseless in this crazy world we live in! I'd like her to take Krav-Magra as well.

Sounds like you've taught your son well. That sounds exactly the same as what we've always taught ours as well. BTW...he is one of the kindest kids in school, with a great big heart, and almost always sticks up for others. His size is a deterrent in itself from others picking on him back. But more often than not, he walks away. He understands when someone is being foolish and looking for trouble, and knows to get out of range. I think he does an awesome job in all of the situations he's told me about.

I know that didn't all come from just my husband & I. It was a lifetime of teaching, from us, teachers, and definitely their TKD instructor. He's awesome! He places a lot of value in morals & character-building. I'm thankful we got them involved with TKD when we did.

[Aquila]

I'd love to put my son into Tae-kwon-do or some form of martial art. I believe it teaches confidence and responsible defense. It kind of produces a balance.

[Hoovie]

As a child we were taught to walk away when confronted. Even later on in Tae Kwan Do, I was taught defensive measures are always the best ones, and walking or running away are always options.

Today, I am something of a recovering pacifist.

I do think kids should realize the idea of "finishing a fight" that someone else started only works if you are bigger, better trained or heavier armed. I would not teach kids that walking away is always cowardly. Sometimes it's smart - whether in your best interest or to protect a fool from himself.

[Digging4Truth]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

As a child we were taught to walk away when confronted. Even later on in Tae Kwan Do, I was taught defensive measures are always the best ones, and walking or running away are always options.

Today, I am something of a recovering pacifist.

I do think kids should realize the idea of "finishing a fight" that someone else started only works if you are bigger, better trained or heavier armed. I would not teach kids that walking away is always cowardly. Sometimes it's smart - whether in your best interest or to protect a fool from himself.

Great Post.

[shag]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I'd love to put my son into Tae-kwon-do or some form of martial art. I believe it teaches confidence and responsible defense. It kind of produces a balance.

Right, or atleast it should. I would say that it(responsible self defense) probably also has everything to do with what the instructor is like.

(Where Im at, the instructor of TKD is, I believe, now a 5th degree, he was an 11 yr old black belt in my class in 1987(23 yrs ago), and has been doing it every since, so hes one bad 'ombre no doubt.)

Some concerns I have with puttin my kids in his class tho, are, he is quite involved in putting on cage match competitions, like the UFC, only not professional. He generally has a UFC big name guy or 2 to show up at his large events 2X a year, to attract more of a crowd no doubt. This in mind, I'd have to check in on the classes of the what/when/why...of self defense.

No doubt there are good instructors, and bad ones. I mean there has to be, remember the "Karate Kid" movie? LOL

[shag]

Originally Posted by The Mrs

This is why my daughter is also in Tae-kwon-do. She is a test away from 2nd Degree Black Belt. I didn't want her to be defenseless in this crazy world we live in! I'd like her to take Krav-Magra as well.

Sounds like you've taught your son well. That sounds exactly the same as what we've always taught ours as well. BTW...he is one of the kindest kids in school, with a great big heart, and almost always sticks up for others. His size is a deterrent in itself from others picking on him back. But more often than not, he walks away. He understands when someone is being foolish and looking for trouble, and knows to get out of range. I think he does an awesome job in all of the situations he's told me about.
I know that didn't all come from just my husband & I. It was a lifetime of teaching, from us, teachers, and definitely their TKD instructor. He's awesome! He places a lot of value in morals & character-building. I'm thankful we got them involved with TKD when we did.

Yep, youre right, he is awesome!

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

As a child we were taught to walk away when confronted. Even later on in Tae Kwan Do, I was taught defensive measures are always the best ones, and walking or running away are always options.

Today, I am something of a recovering pacifist.

I do think kids should realize the idea of "finishing a fight" that someone else started only works if you are bigger, better trained or heavier armed. I would not teach kids that walking away is always cowardly. Sometimes it's smart - whether in your best interest or to protect a fool from himself.

I think that is very balanced Hoovie.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by shag

Actually, my wife just informed me that the boy that got punched was only 10-11, and the boy which is a bully, that punched him is 15 yrs old, but the younger kid is good size, and does outweigh the older. So in an instance like that, should he have physically tried to fight back even tho it was only 1 punch, or should he only have fought back if it had been an ongoing situation of continued endangerment, like the bully would not let up?

Two quick punches in the kisser and then run like crazy!!! LOL

In HS as a freshmen, a senior reversed his new ring and pop me on the head, he was much bigger but when I quickly turned on him and fought back, you should have seen the terror in his eyes. I was very surprised and enjoyed it greatly. Setting boundaries is very good among the immature.

[ChTatum]

I fought a lot growing up, having been overweight my entire life. When I talked to my son about fighting, I always told him to walk away whenever he could. When it became apparent he couldn't walk away, make the other kid bleed as quick as possible. Most, but not all, people lose the desire to fight when their blood is running down their face.