A Wrecked Church!

[ILG]

I would just like to say how glad I am that there have been so few posts telling members, past members and others to "quit whining, stop gossiping, you are bitter, you are backslid" yada yada yada. These issues need to be discussed because it seems that the only thing that stops abuse is exposure.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by ILG

I would just like to say how glad I am that there have been so few posts telling members, past members and others to "quit whining, stop gossiping, you are bitter, you are backslid" yada yada yada. These issues need to be discussed because it seems that the only thing that stops abuse is exposure.

Now who would do something like that?

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Now who would do something like that?

My, I dunno.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by ILG

I would just like to say how glad I am that there have been so few posts telling members, past members and others to "quit whining, stop gossiping, you are bitter, you are backslid" yada yada yada. These issues need to be discussed because it seems that the only thing that stops abuse is exposure.

Naw, we won't tell them they are bitter and need to move on unless years later they are not going to church because of this horrible thing that happened in 2012.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by CC1

Naw, we won't tell them they are bitter and need to move on unless years later they are not going to church because of this horrible thing that happened in 2012.

Ya, give it 25-30 years and then only if they were involved in this whole mess as a teen, and if the parents of the teen were telling him/her to bow to the will of the daughter because she was God's Anointed.

[houston]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Ya, give it 25-30 years and then only if they were involved in this whole mess as a teen, and if the parents of the teen were telling him/her to bow to the will of the daughter because she was God's Anointed.

good grief

[ILG]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Ya, give it 25-30 years and then only if they were involved in this whole mess as a teen, and if the parents of the teen were telling him/her to bow to the will of the daughter because she was God's Anointed.

My kids don't go to church. One of them just started seeing a therapist for all this. These were formative years for my kids when all this happened. Then, we left the UPC and we all had to adjust to a completely new culture. Then, my husband got cancer. I would say the last three years have been peaceful. I think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. The therapist specializes in trauma.

We went to another church for four years after we left the UPC. We looked long and hard before picking this church. It was an evangelical church. We met with the pastor once and told him our story. He was kind to us that day, but seemed to shy away from us after that because of our background. This was a newer church and growing like mad. The pastor was and is very busy. My husband gathered all his courage and asked the pastor to sponsor him with global. Of course, global is a oneness org and the pastor is trinitarian. The pastor told him to get him the paperwork. My husband did. The pastor never filled it out or said another thing to my husband. After all we had been through, my husband just did not have the stomach to approach him again. He felt completely defeated and deflated. The pastor also told him he was going to have him speak about a missions trip. My husband was very excited. This was the first chance he had gotten since we left the UPC. Months went by and he wasn't asked. My husband was ready to throw in the towel but kept going to church because of me and the kids.

I talked to the youth minister about my son volunteering at the church. I felt he needed some involvement and mentorship especially after what we had been through. I talked to him through email and we got it all set up. My son was going to start after the youth minister got back from a vacation. My son was excited about this. I asked the youth minister if he wanted a reminder email from me when he got back from vacation. He said yes. I sent three. No response. When I told my son, he shrugged. He was so used to this kind of thing.

Easter Sunday morning a few years ago, I had been sick with anemia so we hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. I made an effort to be there that day. I was bending over to pick up a bulletin when WHACK! I saw stars. Literally. The guy in front of me, who was holding his daughter, fell backwards and hit me in the head with his chair with his weight and hers. My glasses flew. I almost blacked out. My husband picked up the glasses and was trying to give them to the guy. The usher ran up to the guy and asked him if he and his daughter were okay. I was so whacked that I couldn't even speak. No one asked me how I was at all. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. This was my life. A man with no hurt or harm but a slight startle gets asked if he is okay and I, who am almost passed out (and I had a painful lump for two weeks) gets left completely ignored. It wasn't the instance as much as it was I saw all the events of my life in churches at that moment.

I never went back.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by ILG

My kids don't go to church. One of them just started seeing a therapist for all this. These were formative years for my kids when all this happened. Then, we left the UPC and we all had to adjust to a completely new culture. Then, my husband got cancer. I would say the last three years have been peaceful. I think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. The therapist specializes in trauma.

We went to another church for four years after we left the UPC. We looked long and hard before picking this church. It was an evangelical church. We met with the pastor once and told him our story. He was kind to us that day, but seemed to shy away from us after that because of our background. This was a newer church and growing like mad. The pastor was and is very busy. My husband gathered all his courage and asked the pastor to sponsor him with global. Of course, global is a oneness org and the pastor is trinitarian. The pastor told him to get him the paperwork. My husband did. The pastor never filled it out or said another thing to my husband. After all we had been through, my husband just did not have the stomach to approach him again. He felt completely defeated and deflated. The pastor also told him he was going to have him speak about a missions trip. My husband was very excited. This was the first chance he had gotten since we left the UPC. Months went by and he wasn't asked. My husband was ready to throw in the towel but kept going to church because of me and the kids.

I talked to the youth minister about my son volunteering at the church. I felt he needed some involvement and mentorship especially after what we had been through. I talked to him through email and we got it all set up. My son was going to start after the youth minister got back from a vacation. My son was excited about this. I asked the youth minister if he wanted a reminder email from me when he got back from vacation. He said yes. I sent three. No response. When I told my son, he shrugged. He was so used to this kind of thing.

Easter Sunday morning a few years ago, I had been sick with anemia so we hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. I made an effort to be there that day. I was bending over to pick up a bulletin when WHACK! I saw stars. Literally. The guy in front of me, who was holding his daughter, fell backwards and hit me in the head with his chair with his weight and hers. My glasses flew. I almost blacked out. My husband picked up the glasses and was trying to give them to the guy. The usher ran up to the guy and asked him if he and his daughter were okay. I was so whacked that I couldn't even speak. No one asked me how I was at all. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. This was my life. A man with no hurt or harm but a slight startle gets asked if he is okay and I, who am almost passed out (and I had a painful lump for two weeks) gets left completely ignored. It wasn't the instance as much as it was I saw all the events of my life in churches at that moment.

I never went back.

ILG, my heart breaks for you and your family!

I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly. I have been through my own experience that I just cannot write about, but while it was traumatic for me, it is nothing what your family has been through. Maybe someday though.

The way I see this, the next time you go to a church for worship, it would be wise not to tell anybody anything about what happened to your family. It is quite possible that the pastor saw trouble coming to his little business corporation and he was thinking in terms of money and prestige instead of Christ and His Kingdom.

The way I see it, people who have been abused by those in the system have their opportunity to teach and preach Christ from without the camp. Christ has removed those of us from that system so that He can truly be head of His Church. It takes much more discipline on our part to study the Word, pray and be sincere in our walk because we do not have the critical "eye" of others looking at how we dress or how long our hair is. We have the opportunity to have bible studies or just to talk about Jesus without having to ask permission from some man who gets himself set up as a pastor (king) over others. Jesus told us we are not to have other people 'lording' over us for their is only one Church and one head of that church.

If you are interested, PM me and I will tell you how the Lord revived my husband after we left the church system.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

ILG, my heart breaks for you and your family!

I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly. I have been through my own experience that I just cannot write about, but while it was traumatic for me, it is nothing what your family has been through. Maybe someday though.

The way I see this, the next time you go to a church for worship, it would be wise not to tell anybody anything about what happened to your family. It is quite possible that the pastor saw trouble coming to his little business corporation and he was thinking in terms of money and prestige instead of Christ and His Kingdom.

The way I see it, people who have been abused by those in the system have their opportunity to teach and preach Christ from without the camp. Christ has removed those of us from that system so that He can truly be head of His Church. It takes much more discipline on our part to study the Word, pray and be sincere in our walk because we do not have the critical "eye" of others looking at how we dress or how long our hair is. We have the opportunity to have bible studies or just to talk about Jesus without having to ask permission from some man who gets himself set up as a pastor (king) over others. Jesus told us we are not to have other people 'lording' over us for their is only one Church and one head of that church.

If you are interested, PM me and I will tell you how the Lord revived my husband after we left the church system.

Hey AYR,

Last time I went to church (a couple weeks ago) it was to the Catholic church with my Mom. I have panic attacks even listening to pentecostal worship or anything similar. One of my kids (non-gender specific) went to a UPC church a few times a while back this COM (Child of Mine) told them who this COM was and the pastor and his wife whisked this COM off to dinner. This COM was labeled as "hurting". I encouraged this COM to do whatever it takes to heal, if that means go to a UPC to visit or to a therapist. Whatever. I would not want this COM to become part of a UPC but I find that highly unlikely.

I don't really want sympathy as much as I just want people to listen and not beat me when I tell my story.

You are welcome to PM me and tell me your story. I will read it. I think it will probably roll off like water on a rock, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I appreciate the interaction.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by ILG

I don't really want sympathy as much as I just want people to listen and not beat me when I tell my story.

You are welcome to PM me and tell me your story. I will read it. I think it will probably roll off like water on a rock, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I appreciate the interaction.

Well then....if telling our experience of how God revived my husband will just "roll off like water on a rock", then I guess there is no point in telling it because it is very near and dear to our hearts.

I just cannot get to the place where I can write about the terrible experience we had in UPC here in this forum. It is nothing as bad as yours, but it was a deep learning experience.

Concerning sympathy...a person cannot tell their heart-wrenching story and not garner some sympathetic responses from the reader. I have sympathy for your family because I recognize that what is happening in our churches today is the work of Satan. People have allowed Satan to come in and divide and conquer the people by using and twisting God's Word to achieve that. My sympathy is for all the lives that have been bruised and wrecked because of the devil's knowledge of human behavior. He knows about humanity's fallen nature and the love of lust, greed and power over others is a driving force. Satan uses it to destroy man's love for one another by putting material things and personal love and preferences over the body of Christ.

I sympathize and grieve that we (mankind in general) have allowed the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life to reduce the outreach effectiveness of the church to the lost. Some preachers and people have unwittingly created hardships for others, especially for preachers who are totally devoted and sincere to the cause of Christ. People are skeptical of what they see and hear now because they simply do not know who is the real deal and who is building their own business/kingdom. They see the greed from the television preachers. They feel the tug of the Holy Spirit when they watch the television preachers because God can use all communications from people for His glory. Then they feel the rug pulled out from under them when the T.V powers that be expose preacher greed. Not only on television, but also in sad cases like what happened here. And this is only a speck in a tank of situations where the devil came in to steal and to destroy. People feel their spiritual rape because many put their all into a system rather than into God.

Christ's blood is always powerful and effective in saving our souls and to give us everlasting life...but man has reduced themselves into entering mere "clubs" because they refuse to apply that blood to their lives and take upon themselves the power that Christ has given to them.

This is where my sympathy lies.