Respect as Women

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

...Another thing about dating an ultra-con boy.....I think your daughter should understand that there is inherent danger in believing that standards are salvational and can cause great hardship when a couple is not on the same page with their children (or even when they are if the belief is that standards are salvational).

I agree, and that's why we've had these conversations. I realize from my own experience that it can be easy to follow rules yourself but harder to push them on your children when you don't believe they're biblical.

We've had a unique experience in this district because of our pastor. He's very respectful about parental authority and ultimately one of the wisest men I know. Church leadership obviously plays a huge role in what sort of "experience" you have with the church, regardless of the denomination.

Right now we have one daughter who has voluntarily made a decision to impose very strict rules upon herself (stricter than what we live and what our church teaches), for various reasons, and another who is kind of *on the fence* about it all. Our position has been to talk to them and let them choose their direction on their own. My theory is that if my daughters choose a conservative lifestyle for themselves with as little outside pressure as possible, they will have a more positive experience and are less likely to suffer from resentment and frustration later. It's only a theory and only time will tell if I'm right.

You are correct that I wouldn't be upset if my daughters chose to abandon standards per se, but I would be upset and disappointed if they abandoned modesty and femininity altogether, because those are values I've tried very hard to instill. I would be very upset and fasting and praying for their souls if they abandoned Apostolic doctrine. That would be difficult for me to handle. From that POV, I understand people who are upset when their kids abandon standards, because they believe those things are salvational and they do fear for their kids' souls. At that point it does boil down to this: The one thing you absolutely can't force your kids to do is have a relationship with God.